And the Cavalry Came…

Friends are such a blessing!  I was mowing the yard, took a break for supper, and they descended upon us before we could say weed whacker!  You know the verse in Ecclesiastes – two are better than one for they get more return for their labor…?  Well, I saw it in action.  A great friend and three of his very industrious, eager, able, servant-hearted kids showed up with another mower and a weed whacker and made short work of the rest of what I had to mow.  Alone, I probably would not have been able to finish tonight.  They were here and gone before it got dark.  Dear friends, if you read this, thank you so much for your help!!!  Thank you for allowing God to use you to be a blessing.  I now have a nicely mowed and trimmed yard and extra time for sermon preparation!

By the way, God gave me some great uninterrupted time to work on my sermon today, and my mind is swimming with all he is teaching me!

May God bless you with great friends!

Are You Ready?

I am scheduled to preach on Sunday, and before yesterday morning, I was wrestling with two topics:  1) Fatherlessness or 2) A brief overview of what the Bible has to say about the use of money.  I don’t preach on a regular basis, so I usually just talk about things God has been teaching me lately.  As you can probably tell by my blog, these are two areas where I believe God has been teaching me.  I have been praying that God would give me clear direction on which one would be most beneficial.  Well, yesterday morning, God clearly gave me an entirely different topic altogether.  Just briefly, I tried to ignore the prompting because the topic is out of my comfort zone and would take a lot more preparation.  However, I had that feeling where my heart beat gets faster and I just know that I am sitting in God’s classroom.  I can no longer ignore it at that point.  This subject was strong on my mind yesterday morning before I sat down to have my time with God, but I really wasn’t making the connection that He might want me to preach on it until both my daily reading and my devotional that I read yesterday dealt with the same topic.  I can’t explain it.  I just know when God is leading me in a certain direction.  But then I thought, “Come on, God knows how many things I have to do between now and then and that preparation is going to be difficult, right?  We just got back from a trip, the lawn needs to be mowed (min. of 3 hour process), we have softball practice Friday night, a baby shower Saturday night, and this is even my week to help mow the church lawn.  Surely, He could let me off the hook and let me preach on something I’m more familiar with, right?”  Not a chance.  In fact, because I have all these things going on, I think the topic is even more relevant.  I’m going to do my best to really listen to God, and deliver the message He is giving me.  Are you curious yet…

The topic is:  Are You Ready for the Return of Jesus?

What are we going to be doing when He returns?  Are we going to be sitting in front of the television or feeding the hungry?  What are our priorities?  Are we going to be laying up treasures in Heaven or buying things that rust and moths destroy?  What is our attitude?  Are we living in anticipation or fear or apathy or are we too busy to even think about it?  How is our spiritual health?  Are we in bondage to sin or free in Christ?  Who is our Master?  Are we serving the enemy or Jesus?  Please pray with me that God will reveal His message to His people through me and that I may speak the truth in love on Sunday.

Anyway, the end must be near.  After all, we have been without internet service at the office the last few days and we all feel like we are suffering immensely.  Please forgive my poor sense of humor.  It’s early.

Well, it’s 6:15 a.m., and I’m about to ride my bike into the office to save gas…  May God richly bless your day today, and may you be eternally minded!

Dad’s Who Get It – Part 4 – Honoring My Hero

To a boy, a hero is bigger than life, brave, able to do anything, invincible, is always putting others before himself…  Yep, Grandpa fits the bill.  While so many boys choose their hero from fiction, mine was (and is) real.  I don’t really feel worthy to write about him, but today is Memorial Day and the perfect day to honor a veteran.  I am just blessed that he is still with us, and that I am enjoying some time with him today.  God works all things out for good.

Grandpa and I sat down a few years ago and I wrote down a lot of things about his life.  Unfortunately, I left that at home.  I may add to this post later when I have my notebook with me.  He is still able to recall some of the facts, which is amazing.

Grandpa joined the army in 1942 at the age of 19.  He was with Patton’s 3rd Army in the Battle of the Buldge in December, 1944.  He remembers being extremely cold and sleeping under his tank on Christmas Day, 1944.  In April, 1945, his tank was blown up.  He was thrown in a barn full of bodies and left for dead.  He crawled out and was captured by the German army.  Though he was injured badly, but was forced to march as a POW for 26 days.  He said they were allowed to go into a field and get one potato, if they were able and if a field was near, at the end of the day.  That was the only food they got.  He had shrapnel in his head from the tank explosion.  He lost 100 lbs during that march, and developed serious dysentary.  He said that what kept him going was the thought that his mother would never see him again.  A few hours after reaching the POW camp, they were rescued by the American forces.  He was immediately flown to Camp Lucky Strike and medical attention was given.  On June 1, 1945, he was on a ship headed home.  He landed in New York, then took a train to El Paso.  From there, he couldn’t find transportation to Amarillo, so he hitched a ride.  On Father’s Day, 1945, he walked up to the family home in Amarillo where he was welcomed home.  It took months for him to recover.  In fact, he still to this day lives with some of the repercussions of war.  He has two purple hearts and numerous other medals.

My Grandpa went on to marry Bonnie, and they had 4 children.  Bonnie died in an accident when my mom (the oldest) was about 10, leaving Grandpa to raise four children alone.  I don’t know a lot of the details during those years, and any of the family is welcome to add their comments.  However, let me say that my mom, two aunts, and uncle are the most giving, loving, caring, selfless people I know.  Grandpa must have done something right.  Of course, I think my great aunt and uncle helped a lot with their raising, too.

Let’s fast forward a few years.  My Grandpa has always been good to me.  When my parents divorced, my mom, sister, and I ended up moving in with my grandparents.  I can’t imagine where we would have been without them.  Mom worked hard in the Levi Strauss Plant, but it wasn’t enough to make end’s meet.  I think living with Grandpa was what I needed at that point in life.  He has always called me Son or Buddy.  It seems like a small thing, but in the absence of a dad, it meant the world to me for someone to call me Son.  Grandpa was always there for me.

One time, when I was about in the 8th grade, we went with him to the VFW for steak night.  I wore a ball cap into the VFW.  Grandpa didn’t say anything, but another gentleman walked all the way across the room to ask me to remove my hat and pointed to the sign on the wall.  I’m sure I didn’t have a very good attitude about it and asked what the big deal was.  My Grandpa, with tears in his eyes and getting choked up, said it was to honor the boys who died fighting for our freedom.  It was one of those moments that make you feel like the scum of the earth.  Though he had never laid a hand on me, I wished he would have just beat me or something instead of crying.  It made a huge impact on my life.  With just a few words, he taught me honor and respect.  I had been rightly put in my place, and to this day I remove my hat at the proper times and think about that moment.

Grandpa spent most of his life caring for others.  He was a nursing home administrator for years, and he and Grandma ran a nursing home out of their home as far back as I could remember, taking care of as many as 6 patients at a time.  In fact, when we lived with them, it was in their nursing home!  I saw first hand how to take care of people. 

When I was in college, they would have us over for dinner at least once a week and took us out to eat many times.  I would do my laundry at their house and just go to hang out.  I’ll never forget the time it was just he and I for a whole day.  We watched rerun after rerun of Walker Texas Ranger that he had recorded.  At the end of the day, he said, “Son, let’s not wait so long to do this again.”  What an awesome day!  One time, my student loan money hadn’t come in yet, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to start classes that Fall.  Grandpa wrote me a check and told me not to say a word.  I knew he couldn’t afford it, but he found some way to do it.  I knew better than to ask questions.  I paid him back when the loan check came in.  If anyone had need, especially a family member, he was there.  His kids are the same way.  I’m blessed to be a part of this family!

Well, I can’t imagine suffering like he did.  I have my freedom and enjoy a good life because of soldiers like Grandpa, who went before me and fought for it.  He slept under a tank on Christmas Day, so I could spend each Christmas enjoying my wife and children.  He and other soldiers disserve our utmost respect and honor for the huge sacrifice they have made.  Personally, I can’t imagine where I would be without Grandpa.  He is a man of few words, but when he speaks I listen.  Now, as he suffers from Dementia, I will continue to honor him in anyway I can and show him how much I love and respect him.  This blog post seems so inadequate, but it’s my heartfelt attempt to honor my hero.

Thank you, Grandpa for your love and sacrifice.  Your love for family is unmatched.  Your legacy will be one that goes far into the future because you invested in the lives of your children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.  I love you, Grandpa.

May God bless you and protect you!

 

For the Love of Family

We have made an unexpected trip to Texas for the love of family.  Let me tell you, a family of six doesn’t get on the road too quickly for an uplanned trip!!  Especially when we had to get so many things covered for us.  Our friends have been great to cover for us in various areas to make sure we could do what we needed to do!!  Anyway, we got here about 1:30 this morning, and though tired, I am enjoying a wonderful opportunity to spend time with mom and Grandpa.  Grandpa seems as clear as a bell today, though he suffers from dementia.  What a gift!  We have had some good conversations today, and have watched one of his Hee Haw DVD’s.  He’s watching CNN right now, and I can only take so much of it, so I decided to blog for a little bit.   I have two of the kids with me, but they are at my sister’s house spending time with her family.  My wife and the other two went to see some of her family.  Anyway, while I’m here, I plan to do my next “Dads Who Get It” post.  Ironically, I’m here spending time with the man I was planning to write about next… my hero… my Grandpa.  I’m fighting a head cold, so I’m not in my best “writing frame of mind” right now, but will do more writing later…

By the way, for those of you who have made my ten key moves post on budgeting my second most hit post (quickly catching “Honoring My Bride”) this trip is being paid for out of emergency savings.  Everyone should have an emergency savings to cover expenses like this, so they don’t get caught offguard, and so you can do what you need to do.  After all, this trip that once cost about $50 in gas just 10 years ago, now will cost close to $200!  In deciding whether to come or not, my wife was concerned that this trip would hurt the budget.  I appreciate that, but I could tell in her voice and what was coming from her heart that we needed to make this trip.  The savings helped us not to have to make the choice of money over family. 

By the way, we also brought some food along so we wouldn’t have to make an expensive fast food stop!

May God bless you today with good time with your family! 

Who’s Your Daddy?

This was a beautiful morning in the garden.  I’m going to stray just a little from the two “series” that I’m doing to share something that God taught me this morning.  While the title may seem a little humorous, the subject matter is not.  I was reading 2 Peter 2 this morning, and was struck by verse 19, particularly the part that says, “for by what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved.” (NASB)  The NIV reads, “for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him, and the NLT reads, “For you are a slave to whatever controls you.”  Who is your master?  Is it money or materialism?  Matthew 6:24 says, “No one can serve two masters.  Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.  You cannot serve both God and money.”  Proverbs 22:7 states that the debtor is servant to the lender.  Maybe your master is unforgiveness.  You just can’t let go of the hurt that “he or she” has caused you.  Unforgiveness is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die.  Matthew 6:14-15 tells us that if we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us!  Maybe you are slave to your work.  Does it consume your every waking hour?  Does work keep you from spending time with your family?  Are you enslaved by your desire to succeed?  Don’t get me wrong.  We are told in Colossians 3:23 to work wholeheartedly as if working for God and not for men.  Work is important, but we must be careful not to be a slave to it.  This is particularly hard for men because we have a need to be needed and have a desire to be good at something.  Many times, in our jobs, we find that fulfillment and, taken too far, we become a slave to it.  I really have to work at keeping this one in check.  Maybe you are a slave to an addiction:  pornography, alcohol, gambling, drugs, sex, and the list goes on and on.  Maybe you are a slave to fear, jealousy, pride, greed, selfishness, anger, bitterness, and that list goes on and on, too.  The world tries to tell us we will find our freedom in all of these things, but we only become more enslaved.  However, the Bible says not to be slaves to sin. 

Here’s the good news:  There is hope.  Remember, Christ came to set us free from the sin that binds us.  In fact, He shed His blood and died for us to have that freedom!  Let’s look at two more passages.  2 Timothy 2:4 says, “ No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier.”  We are soldiers in the army of God.  We need to stay focused on Him and the mission He has for us.  Hebrews 12:1-2 says, “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

None of us are immune to becoming enslaved by the things of this world.  I know I fall into those traps from time to time.  However, the key is to focus on our true Master.  If we will let Him, He will peel back the layers one by one.  Repentance is a key step.  He wants us to humble ourselves and draw near to Him.  He opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.  Brothers and sisters, desire the things of God, not the things of this world. 

While I’m pretty sure the movie is not very true to the book (I’ve been inspired to re-read the book), I think there are some lessons to be learned in the movie, Prince Caspian.  I don’t remember the scene in the book with the White Witch, but it does depict the choices that are before us on a daily basis.  In the movie, Caspian was enslaved to revenge and fear.  He was given the choice to take the easy way out by freeing the White Witch.  She was trying to seduce him, as the evil one always does.  In fact, he knows what controls us and plays on that very thing.  It seemed that Peter didn’t know what to do, either.  However, it was Edmund that knew what to do because he once was enslaved to evil.  This time he was the hero.  Will we be enslaved to sin or righteousness?  Will we become “blood brothers” with evil and trust in the ways of the world or will we choose to trust in God and His perfect ways?  Sin offers it’s own brand of freedom, the kind with strings chains attached.  God offers complete freedom in His Son, Jesus Christ.  Someday, Jesus will return.  How will He find us?  Entangled in our sin or running the race set before us with endurance?  There’s the Paradox Principle again.  We must die to our selfish desires in order to live fully for God! 

May God shine His grace upon you today as you draw near to Him as your Master!

Ten Key Moves – Time With My Children

This is the third Key Move that I would like to share with you:  “I will be intentional about spending time with my children both individually and collectively.  I will take each of my daughters on a date at least once per quarter, just the two of us.  I will discover each child’s unique personalities and love languages, and then do things that are special and unique for each one.”

This goes right along with two of my other posts:  “We Slid Down Together” and “You’re Gonna Miss This”.  To reinforce this, the other day my oldest daughter asked if we could do something together, just the two of us.  As I got to thinking, I realized it had been awhile.  I used to be better about one-on-one time before there were four of them!  It seems that my son is pretty high maintenance right now, and takes a lot of our time.  In other words, if someone isn’t watching him at all times, the world may truly be in jeopardy!   Anyway, I have had several reminders recently to show me that this is an important “Key Move”.  It may mean I have to go swimming more this summer, but I’ll do it for them.

In Men’s Fraternity, we learned the things that our children want us to know.  I won’t share all of those things, but I’ll list some of them that struck me the most:

1. “I need you to know my personality and honor it.  The sooner, the better.”
2. “I need you to discover my bent (giftedness) and actively support it.”
3. “I need you to know that too much is too much.”  a.  Too much control crushes or incites.  b.  Too much money spoils and pacifies.  c.  Too high expectations discourage.
4. “I need you to know you can wound me for a lifetime.”
5. “I need you to make some great memories with me to live on.”

In spending time with each of them, I hope to discover more about their personalities, giftedness, love languages, likes and dislikes, and I want to create some great memories.  I think it’s easier to get in their world now and stay there than to try to get in later when they are teens.  I have a good relationship with my kids, and I want it to continue to grow. 

Anyway, my oldest and I are going on a date this afternoon to see Prince Caspian, and are really looking forward to it.  May God bless you as you strive to honor Him in your parenting!

Ten Key Moves – Budget

Budgeting is the second of my 10 Key Moves that I would like to discuss.  Due to economically stressful times caused by the rising costs of so many things, this is one we had to implement quickly in order to navigate our family through the rough waters.  Without it, we would continue to pull from savings until we were in a real bind.  On my Ten Key Moves sheet it reads like this, ”God is our Provider, and we will trust Him to provide for our needs.  We will honor Him and do our part by developing and maintaining a detailed budget that reflects Biblical financial principles, including tithing, helping the less fortunate, preparing for future expenses and unexpected emergencies, being a good steward, providing for the needs of our family, and becoming debt free.”  We had learned a great deal from Crown Financial Ministries about Biblical financial principles, including budgeting, but had become lax about using a budget.  This had to change in order to keep us financially healthy.  I have added a link to the Crown website on my blog home page.  I also have some books listed on my “Recommended Books” page.

First of all, my wife and I had to be on the same page, so we worked on all of this together.  Before I go into detail, I just want to say that she has done a phenomenal job of working within the budget and finding ways to save and cut back.  Without teamwork, this will not work! 

We learned early on that our budget had to reflect reality.  As Robert Lewis said, we first had to face the facts.  For example, it is easy to ignore those bills that are paid once a quarter or once a year until they come due, but then it’s panic time.  Just because they do not come due this month does not mean we shouldn’t be putting some money aside to pay them later.  The reality is, unless Jesus comes back before then, they will be due and we need to be prepared!  We had gotten to a point where we would just pull from savings when we had more month than money left.  The trouble was, we weren’t putting anything back.  Logic says that eventually it will run out! 

I began to pray that God would show us how to develop a budget that would honor Him.  I prayed that He would show us where we could cut back and where we could save, and I continue to pray that prayer.  He is our Provider, and will take care of our needs.  So, the first thing we did was to track our spending down to the dollar for a month.   This helped with determining month to month expenses.  With utilities, which vary greatly from month to month, we looked at the history and came up with an average.  Then, we tried to come up with all of those expenses that are once a quarter or once a year.  We took those and divided by 12.  Then, we looked at those things that were irregular like house repairs, car repairs, medical expenses, and activities for the kids such as swimming lessons and camp, and tried to put an amount each month for those.  I put all of this information along with our income information into a spreadsheet.  The very first line item on the spreadsheet is our tithe.  We believe in giving at least 10% to God off the top.  We want to give Him our best, not our left overs.  We want to give out of faith, which means giving to Him first, not when we realize that we’re going to be “okay” this month.  We learned this principle several years ago as we were growing in our faith, and God has always taken care of our needs.  I could tell you story after story of this, and may some day.  Upon writing our budget the first time, the expenses were more than the income, so we had to cut back some of those areas that were somewhat flexible like house repairs, groceries, etc… until we had a balanced budget.  Since then, we have found more ways to save and cut back, but we have had to use some of that to add to line items such as “gasoline.”  Imagine that!! 

One thing we have done as a result of this budget process is to implement an envelope system.  I know that Crown and Dave Ramsey both recommend this.  We are using cash or certificates that we purchase that spend like cash for groceries, gasoline, and several other miscellaneous items.  This has proven to be very good.  First of all, we don’t spend as much.  It’s easy to put stuff on a debit card and lose track of our spending.  There is a lot of psychology behind this, too, that I won’t go into. 

I was inspired by a good friend on our next step.  To keep up with the items that aren’t monthly, I developed a spreadsheet for our savings account with different “subaccounts,” so that we can transfer money each month into the various designated funds within the savings account.  Fortunately, we had money in savings to help cover those things that came due before we had a year to build it up, such as car tags that are due this month.  For next year, that money will accumulate and we’ll be able to transfer the money when needed and not have to worry.  We even have a subaccount for utilities, so when the utilities are below average, we will put money back for those times when they are above average.  Also, I get paid every 2 weeks, so there are two months out of the year that I get three paychecks.  Since our budget is set on a monthly basis, those paychecks will go directly to savings and be designated to cover expenses that can’t be covered out of the monthly budget, such as family trips, school books, Christmas gifts, emergency fund etc…

Anyway, we are a few months into it, and while things are pretty tight, we know where we stand.  There is a lot of peace that comes with that.  We know what we can spend and what we can’t.  It is great to know we will have the money set aside to pay our quarterly taxes when they come due on June 15, and won’t have to dip into savings again.  Just to give you a quick example of how God works through all of this:  This month, we had some unexpected expenses that weren’t covered with our budget.  We were going to need to cut about $35 from other areas of the budget.  The next day at church a generous man gave my wife and I each a $20 certificate that can be used for gas or groceries!!  He wanted to bless us from his economic stimulus check.  It couldn’t have come at a better time.  Our God is so good.  No worries, just keep the FAITH.  That’s the word God has been showing me a lot lately:  F-A-I-T-H. 

On a side note, I don’t want this to seem negative because it has actually been a very positive thing for us.  Learning to be disciplined is a good thing.  In addition, we understand that we have made some decisions that require sacrifice that I know we will never regret.  First of all, we have chosen for my wife to not work outside the home.  Again, friends inspired us to do this.  That was one of the best decisions we ever made.  Our children (and all of us for that matter) have benefitted from this more than words can say.  Secondly, we have a goal of paying off our mortgage in nine years.  We want to be totally debt free at the time our oldest leaves for college.  Granted, when we made that decision, finances were better, but I’m sure we will be glad we did when the time comes.  I kind of laugh when I hear people say that it takes two incomes to survive these days.  I realize that this truly is the case, sometimes, but the people I hear saying this are usually the ones who don’t want to sacrifice “the lifestyle”.  It’s all about priorities.

Well, I got long winded on this one.  Hope you found some helpful and encouraging information here.  If you have questions or comments feel free to express those in the “comments” and I’ll be happy to respond.  May God bless you as you get your financial house in order! 

Milestone Day

Friday was a milestone day for my oldest daughter.  In the morning, she announced that she would like to learn how to mow the grass.  It kind of caught me by surprise, but I couldn’t find any reason to say no.  I want her to learn how to do things like that, and at this point she’s eager to learn.  So, I gave her a few pointers and let her give it a shot on some straight stretches.  Of course I was walking right behind her coaching her through it.  Later, much to my amazement, I was comfortable enough with it to do some tree trimming while she mowed.  At one point, she needed a break, so I did some mowing while she went to get a drink.  She came back and after a couple of swipes informed me that she had straighened out my crooked lines.  And I thought I was a perfectionist…

Then, some friends called and asked if she wanted to go to the rodeo with them (my wife and I had ministry obligations that evening, so we couldn’t go), and if she might want to try “mutton busting”.  We went over to their farm where they have a few sheep.  However, the sheep were so tame that they didn’t really do much when she got on.  She really wrestled with the decision all afternoon.  Usually she’s a kid who knows what she wants, but it was good for her to have to make a decision like this.  I finally figured out that she was dealing with fear.  She had never done it before, but she was afraid she might get trampled.  I really messed up by not coaching her to pray about it.  That’s what I usually do when I’m wrestling with a decision, but I missed an opportunity here.  Anyway, I told her that I think she ought to face her fear and give it a shot.  She wasn’t going to know until she tried it.  In other words, it was a fear of the unknown.  She’s an athletic young lady, and about as tenacious as they come.  I figured her strong will alone would keep her on top of that sheep.  She finally decided to do it.  That night when she came home, she was so pumped.  She had stayed on for the whole 8 seconds and more.  In fact, they had to tell her to get off because she was holding on as if her life depended on it.  Oh, how I wish I could have been there to see it!!  In Sunday School yesterday she told the class how God had helped her overcome her fear and how He had protected her.  I’m glad she knows where to give the credit.  This was a great exercise in decision making and fear facing.

I guess you could say she pushed a lawn mower in the morning and drove a “riding lawn mower” in the evening.  Sorry, that’s my goofy sense of humor kicking in…

There is nothing like sitting through a graduation to make a guy reflect on the lives of his own kids.  My little mutton buster and I attended a friend’s graduation the next morning after the great triumph in the arena.  Ironically, the graduate was very protective of my daughter up until the time she was 2 or 3.  He has turned out to be an outstanding young man with an incredible future ahead of him.  In 9 short years, I will be doing this with the little girl who was sitting next to me, and I know that the time will fly.  In fact, half of her time with us at home is gone.   It made me think, when she leaves home:  Will she have the life skills she needs?  Will she be willing to take calculated risks?  Will she be able to make wise decisions?  Will she be fearful or full of faith?  Most importantly, will she seek God in everything?  One of the graduation speakers made the comment that good or bad, all the experiences the kids had up to that point helped to shape who they are today.  I’m sure like all parents, I want to make sure my kids are prepared for life.  I want them to be grounded in their faith, discerning, capable, and able to make wise decisions.  My home must be a training ground for life…  May God bless you today as you raise up your child in the way he should go. 

Dads Who Get It – Part 3: The Glove That Fit

This is a personal story.  Today, I’m going to tell you about my Uncle.  He is a dad who gets it.  He stood in the gap for me, and modeled who a man is.  He is my uncle by marriage on my mom’s side, and he and my Aunt have always been like second parents to me.  Words cannot express what wonderful people they are.  I used to spend a lot of time with them in the summers when I was growing up.  To me, they were the model family – one that stuck together no matter what.  I never wondered if they were going to “make it.”  They were like a rock in an uncertain world.  I knew they would always be there, no matter what.  They always went to church.  When Sunday morning rolled around, there was no question as to whether we were going or not.  That was instrumental for me later on as our niece came to live with us and I was faced with how to raise a child.  I wanted to follow their lead. 

My Uncle always did stuff with us.  In fact, all the neighborhood kids would flock to their house because my Uncle would come out and play basketball or baseball or tag or whatever we were doing.  My cousin, who has always been like a brother to me, and I were talking just a few months ago about these things.  I was telling him how I believed fatherlessness is one of the greatest issues facing our nation.  I jokingly said to him that I was so sorry he had to deal with that issue growing up.  I kinda got choked up as we reminisced about all the things we had done with his dad.  He said his dad was always at his games and school functions.  In fact, he said that even at the ”away games” he was sometimes the only one in the bleachers on the visitor’s side.  I don’t know how he did it because he had a pretty demanding job, but he always managed to find time for his kids and a lot of other kids, like me, too.  I think my Aunt once told me that one of the kids came to the door and asked if my Uncle could come out and play.

In the summers, our favorite past time was baseball.  My cousin and I would take on the neighborhood kids and were undefeated.  I would go to a lot of his little league games when I would visit.  We were big Atlanta Braves fans (and still are to this day).  Dale Murphy, Claudell Washington, Chris Chambliss, Gene Garber… oh, the days.  To this day, baseball is still my favorite sport.  Anyway, that’s to preface the reason for the subtitle of this blog… 

When I was young and my dad would sometimes pick me up on Sundays to go to his place, the thing we did the most was play catch.  He gave me one of his old gloves.  It was huge, but it was the only one I had.  I went to visit my Aunt and Uncle one summer and had the glove with me.  My uncle, without saying anything, took me down and bought me a glove that fit.  He even wrote my name on it.  I’ll never forget that.  In fact, I still have both gloves (picture included).  I think of it like this:  He was there for me during the critical years, spending time with me and modeling manhood and fatherhood, which my own father failed to do.  I wasn’t yet ready for my dad to leave.  There were so many things he still needed to teach me.  He left me with a life that I had not yet grown into, which I relate to the glove that didn’t fit.  My uncle was there to stand in the gap and be the “glove that fit” until I could grow into manhood and make it on my own.  Yes, today, the glove he bought no longer fits and the glove my dad gave me does.  However, that smaller glove was critical in teaching me how to use the larger one later.  I still look up to my uncle and I have forgiven my dad.  Someday, at the right times, I’ll pass those gloves on to my own son.  I’m sure he’ll need even a smaller one to start with…  I usually don’t drop names on my blog, but my family knows who I’m talking about.  Thank you, Bubby (my nickname for him), for being a dad who gets it, and for stepping in for me during a critical time of my life with the glove that fit.  Thank you for taking me to church and for all the times you did things with us.  Thank you for making me one of your own.  I love you.  May God continue to bless you and your family!   

Dads Who Get It – Part 2

This is Part 2 in my series called, “Dad’s Who Get It,” where I will be honoring some men who have gone above and beyond to be good dads and mentors.  Here is another dad who has learned the Paradox Principle – Die to Live (see “10 Key Moves”).  His loving sacrifice for his son has made all the difference in the world.  Here is an awesome example of parents who got beyond the “only ifs” and on to the “what ifs”.  They helped their son find his true gifts and gave him opportunities to use them.  I love this young man’s attitude.  When asked about his disabilities, he says they aren’t really disabilities, but abilities.  Good reminder to focus on what God has given us, not on what He didn’t give us.  Have you discovered your own gifts?  Have you discovered the gifts of your children?  I would highly encourage you to do that.  One thing you can do is go to the “YourUniqueDesign” link here on my blog to get started.  Enjoy the video about Patrick Henry Hughes, and I hope you are encouraged today.  May God bless you as you seek to find your giftedness and that of your children!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-qTiYA1WiY8