Ten Key Moves – The Notebook

Today was graduation day from year two of Men’s Fraternity:  Authentic Manhood - Winning at Work & Home.  One of the main things we learned this year was the Paradox Principle.  Summed up, we must “die to live.”  In other words if we truly want life to the fullest we must die some to self by making sacrifices.  Remember, a seed planted in the ground dies in order for the plant to grow and be fruitful.  You might follow along on the series of posts I’m doing this month in honor of “Dad’s Who Get It”.  You will see some examples of dads who have grasped the Paradox Principle of dying to self in order to truly live. 

The main thing we did to graduate was turn in our “10 Key Moves to Make at Home or At Work That Will Take Me to the Next Level of Competency and Satisfaction.”  These are basically things that will require sacrifice on our parts, but will produce fruit long into the future.  As is typical for me I wrote and rewrote these several times before I came up with my final draft.  I’m still not certain I’m totally satisfied with it, but it is a good start.  Now, what usually happens with stuff like this is that it gets put in a folder and forgotten.  However, I believe these are so important that I can’t do that.  Therefore, to hold myself accountable, I’ve decided to post them one at a time and will keep them under a category of their own labeled “10 Key Moves”.  I will start with those that I plan to implement first or have already begun to implement, and from time to time may come back and give updates.  I truly question my sanity in sharing these things so publicly and openly.  However, I believe if I do that, I will be more likely to stick with it, and maybe along the way it will encourage my readers to be strategic and purposeful at home and work.  Again, I would highly recommend this course.  The link to Men’s Fraternity is contained on my blog home page.

The first key move is already somewhat underway, though I have not been as diligent in doing it as I was at first.  This will inspire me to get back on track.  See, it’s already working.   Anyway the first key move I plan to focus on is to live with my wife in an understanding way (I Peter 3:7).  I want to understand her unique design.  I want to understand what makes her tick, what makes her feel loved, what her personality type is, what her needs are, what her favorite things are.  This is not some mission to try to “figure her out.”  I want to be a student of who she is that I may understand and let her know she is loved and cherished.  In order to do this, I will keep a notebook that contains everything I learn about her.  It will contain things I learn about her love language, her personality, and her needs.  It will contain a list of her favorite things, things she mentions that she would like to have (so I’m not scrambling at birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc…), and it will also contain relevant information like her clothing sizes.  This may seem a little weird, but I know that I can’t remember all this stuff.  I would rather have it written down in a notebook than have to keep asking.  In addition, I will commit to reading a book, doing a study, or attending a conference each year on the topic of marriage.  My goal is to gain understanding so that I may help make my wife’s life more fulfilling and enjoyable.

Well, there it is: my first key move.  Feel free to hold me accountable in actually doing this.

May God bless you today at home and at work!