Single Parent Thanksgiving Dinner II

Awhile back, I told you that we would be serving a Thanksgiving dinner for single parent families in our community.  Well, Sunday was the big day, and it was INCREDIBLE.

We started with a special prayer time on Saturday.  It was a wonderful time of praying for the people who would be coming to the dinner.  We prayed for those who would be working.  We prayed a special prayer for the children who would be coming and enjoying the activities.  Yes, we even prayed for food safety.   We prayed against spiritual warfare.  I left with a peace that God was going to pull it all together and use us to bless these families.

On Sunday, I found myself overwhelmed with the number of people who came to serve.  There were people serving everywhere I looked.  No one had to do everything.  Most of the food was prepared and donated by our church members.  We had decorators, a set up crew, hosts and hostesses, cooks, dish washers, food servers, table servers, drink servers, and a take down and cleanup crew.  We also had our youth minister, his team of leaders and the whole youth group doing games with the kids in the gym.  A couple of the guys took the leftovers to a couple of the local firehouses.  To top it off, they were all serving with glad and sincere hearts.  Wow, it did my heart good to be a part of this!

One of the ladies who came with her children told me that without this, they would not have a nice Thanksgiving meal this year.  She had a son who wouldn’t talk.  When I asked him if he wanted to go play with the rest of the kids, he said, “yeah!”  Unfortunately, she made such a big deal out of him talking that he wouldn’t say another word.  Anyway, I took him to the gym and played catch with him until he warmed up and joined the other kids.  That was so cool.  By the way, we had several men in the gym playing games with the kids, and I was elated.  Many of these kids don’t have a man in their lives at all, including their own fathers.

Another lady told our senior minister that her kids would be going in different directions at Thanksgiving, so this was their opportunity to have a nice Thanksgiving meal together. 

It’s stories like these that allow me to realize how God blesses our efforts.  We came together as the body of Christ, not to be self-serving, but to serve our community, and in turn, we were blessed.  In serving others together, I saw more fellowship taking place among our church members yesterday than I usually see at internal events.  People were excited to be there.  The people working in the kitchen were having so much fun, I began to wonder what was in the lemonade.  Just kidding…

As I got into my truck (at a decent hour, by the way) to head home, I just kept saying things like, “Thank You, Lord,” ”Wow,” and “Lord, You are amazing!”  What more could I say at what God had done.

James 1:27 says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”  In this case, religion can be interchanged with the word “worship.”  I believe what we were doing was pure and faultless worship.

Thank you, church family, for coming together to make this happen!

May we all express our thanks to God for His Indescribable Gift!

Unconditional Love

I met my goal and had the assigned portion of the Declaration of Independence memorized.  So, yesterday, I went to my daughter’s class to say it (I made sure it was okay with her teacher, the other student’s, and especially her, first).  My name was thrown ”into the hat” along with the other names, and soon I was called to do the recitation in front of the class.  I speak and teach all the time, so I really don’t know what happened.  I had to stop and think several times as I recited it.  I had those old “school kid” feelings of nervousness.  Worse than that, my fear of failure kicked in.  I started beating myself up inside for not saying it perfectly.  I eventually made it through.  The teacher said I only got one word wrong, but I was not happy with how many times I had to stop to think.  Everyone was gracious, especially my daughter.  She said, “Daddy, that was really good for just starting yesterday…”  It’s good to know she still loves me, and that I didn’t embarrass her in front of the class.  Looking back, it was probably good for her to see me struggle through something like that. 

As for her, she said it word perfectly with barely a glitch.  I was so pleased for her.  She has an amazing memory, and it was cool for me to be able to be there while she said it.  She even gave me a hug after she said it.  Yes, in front of her class.   I told her and I’m sure she could see on my face how happy I was for her.  Of course, she knows my love for her is not based on her performance, but we all enjoy doing well.

It was a humbling day for me, and that’s okay.  It will be a great excuse to take her out for ice cream.  I think I learned more from this exercise than she did.

In all of this, I was reminded of my childhood.  My relationship with my mom was based on unconditional love.  I never doubted for one moment that she loved me.  She is one of the kindest and most gentle people on the face of the earth.  She and I still have a great relationship. 

On the other hand, my relationship with my stepdad was based on performance.  At least, I saw it that way.  When I would do well in school, he was pleased.  I hated to make him mad or upset because it could last for days.  I hated doing something to get in trouble because he had a board and knew how to swing it.  However, I learned how to avoid this by working really hard and being a “good boy”.  I think this was the birth of my people-pleasing and perfectionist tendencies.  I studied and studied and studied when I was in high school and when I was in college.  Why?  A lot of it was to please him.  I needed his affirmation and that’s how I got it.  Yes, my hard work paid off as I earned academic honors.  However, the pressure was so high that I often wondered what it was all for.  I didn’t have many friends in high school.  I was too busy studying or mowing yards to have strong friendships.  I don’t keep up with any of the people that I grew up with.  After I left home, I really didn’t want to have anything to do with him, but had to because of mom.  Once they divorced, the ties were soon broken, and I wasn’t heartbroken.  I no longer felt like I had to perform.  I do want to say for those who are new to my blog or who haven’t read the particular post about my stepdad that we have reconciled, and we talk from time to time.  He did a lot of good things for me that I only in the last few years have realized. 

I don’t want my children to have these kinds of pressures.  Yes, I want them to do their best, but I never want them to think that my love is contingent upon their performance.  They need to know that their Daddy loves them no matter what.

That’s the way it is with God, too, and I give credit to my mentor, Dean Trune, for helping me understand this.  God loves us more than we can imagine, and it’s not based on our performance.  If we just try to keep performing for God, the result is lukewarm religion.  If we are just trying to follow the rules to keep God from “getting angry”, we don’t understand His love.  We will live in fear that if we mess up, we will feel His wrath.  In this case, our hearts won’t be in it.   On the other hand, if we have a passion for God and a healthy, reverent fear of Him (Proverbs 9:10) because of Who He is, we will live out our faith through obedience.  We won’t be trying to perform for God to please Him, we will be trusting and obeying Him because we love Him.  This will bring Him glory.  There is a huge difference there!

Without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6).  Faith without works is dead (James 2:26).  Fruitfulness comes from abiding in Christ (John 15:5).  So, it all starts with our relationship with God.  If we want to have abundant and lasting fruit, we must abide in Christ and He in us.  The relationship with God comes first, not the fruitfulness.  Our relationship with Him will build our faith because we learn more and more about who He is.  This faith pleases God…  Wow, that’s a cycle I want to be on!

May all of our relationships be based on love, not performance!

The Challenge

After my “stellar” performance the other day with my oldest daughter that caused her to shut down instead of encouraging her to continue memorizing the assigned section of the Declaration of Independence, I challenged her to see which one of us could learn it the best.  I have no idea what I was thinking – I was desperate to fix what I had just done.  I told her that whoever learns it with the fewest mistakes would buy the other ice cream.  At the time, she was so upset that she wasn’t ready to take me up on the challenge, which is very unlike her.  Well, she came up to me on Saturday in the middle of all my projects and says, “I accept your challenge.” 

Sure, with only a few days left to practice…  At first, I tried to give her the excuse that I no longer had time to prepare, etc.  Then, I realized I was not setting a good example.  I am always telling my children not to say, “I can’t,” yet in not so many words I was saying “I can’t.”  So I quit with the excuses and said, “okay you’re on.” 

Today, I briefly got the attitiude, after not having much time to study, that it would just be easier to buy the ice cream.  Once again, HORRIBLE EXAMPLE.  Fortunately, this time it was just an internal thought and battle.  Now, I am resolved to memorize it before tomorrow.  I might even say it to her teacher to make it fair…  I was told by my wife that she has it down perfectly.  The pressure is on.  However, my strong will and determination has kicked in and I’m going to memorize it if it takes me all night.  Not to beat her, mind you, but to back up my words with action.  I think I need to practice what I preached to set the example.  I hope we both get it perfect – we’ll celebrate with taking the whole family for ice cream.

May God bless all of us parents with wisdom!

Veteran’s Day

The day is almost over, but I just wanted to take a moment to thank our veterans for their sacrifice.  Most of us live in comfort and security, and our veterans and those currently serving are largely to thank for this.  Sacrifice is not a word we like to hear in America, and I believe this is one of the reasons we are in the economic predicament we are in right now.  However, sacrifice is the lifestyle of a soldier.  I have no idea what it is like to fight in a war.  I know I don’t have what it takes.  However, I grew up with a hero, and I respect and honor those brave soldiers who have made it possible for me to enjoy freedom and security.  There is a price that has been paid and continues to be paid for our freedom, and I’m not talking about dollars, but human lives.

I wrote about my hero (Grandpa) awhile back.  He fought in WWII, and was a POW.  He was injured when his tank was blown up.  He was thrown in a barn full of dead people, crawled out, and was captured by the Nazis.  He was forced to march 26 days with shrapnel in his head and no medical attention.  At best, he got half of a raw potato each day to eat, and lost over 100 lbs.  By the grace of God he was rescued and finally received the medical attention he needed.  He has battled health issues related to the war since that time.  He made the sacrifice, and I have never heard him complain.  He understood that there was a higher purpose than self.  He fought for the greater good.  No wonder he is part of what is known as the “Greatest Generation.”  Thank you, Grandpa.  Thank you, veterans for your sacrifice.

Bear with me, this story does have a point:  Last night, I was probably a little too overbearing with my oldest daughter.  My patriotism and work ethic combined to make an explosive combination.  She asked the question, “Why do I have to memorize the Declaration of Independence?  It’s not something I’m going to have to know to make it through life.” (or something to that effect).  Really, what I was trying to do was nip the attitude in the bud.  This is the kind of attitude that keeps people from succeeding in life.  It’s the kind of attitude that keeps people from realizing their dreams because they aren’t willing to do what it takes to succeed.  It is the kind of attitude that keeps people from completing (or even starting) college because they have to take classes that don’t pertain to their chosen major or career path.  I understand.  When I was in college, I didn’t see any point in a meat science major having to take Fine Arts.  However, it was a step I had to take if I wanted to achieve the goal I had set of graduating and going on to get a good job.  I wasn’t going to let anything stand in the way of me and my dream.  I told her that if she ever wants to achieve her goal of becoming a veterinarian, she would have to learn things along the way that might not seem important at the time.  Many times, the difference between those who succeed in achieving their goals and those who don’t is perseverance and willpower to do those things no one else wants to do.  Everything we learn prepares us for the next thing.  It is part of the training, whether we will ever “use it” again or not.  Often, even God uses things that don’t really make sense at the time to teach us valuable character lessons that last a lifetime.  I told her it was a choice she would have to make.

Well, that was already pretty heavy stuff for a ten year old, and I should have stopped there  However, I found myself going into a patriotic speech about how brave men and women have fought for the freedoms we have and how if her generation doesn’t learn the foundations of our freedoms, such as the Declaration of Independence, our country will go down the tubes.  I even went into how Grandpa had nearly given his life for the freedom we enjoy.  I know it was all too much.  My wife gave me that look that it was too much.  In fact, when I asked her if it was too much, she only smiled.  What I was hoping would be a motivational, charge the troops kind of a speech failed.  Like I said my patriotism and work ethic combined to make an explosive combination.  She has until Tuesday to learn it, so I’ll come up with a better motivational approach or just leave it to my wife…  

My patriotism for our country and my respect for our soldiers runs deep.  I don’t believe in American pride because I think pride has been a pitfall for so many.  Pride doesn’t make sacrifices.  Pride looks out for self.  God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the  humble.  I believe in loyalty to God and country, and I believe many soldiers who have gone before us exemplify this attitude.  I long to see the turning to God, support for our troops and patriotism that we saw in the aftermath of September 11, 2001… 

Well, this is longer than I expected and I went on a couple of bunny trails, but I hope it all fits in somehow…

May God bless our soldiers, both past and present, who have paid the price for our freedom!

Family Night

We have determined to declare Thursday night as Family Night, and will work diligently to protect that.  There are a minimum of four nights a week and usually five where at least one or more of us have meetings or extracurricular activities. 

This past Thursday was a lot of fun.  My wife fixed a snacky kind of supper with Little Smokies, veggies, sliced cheese, etc…  I had a fire going, so we got pillows, layed in the living room floor, and played a game of Clue.  It was a little bit of a challenge with our two year old, who kept taking the “weapons” from the game board, but it worked out fine.  I think it was a special time for all of us.

It is too easy to get so busy doing good things that we neglect the best things.  I have to remember that my family is my first ministry.  It is important to serve others and it is important to take care of day to day business, but my relationship with God and with my family have to be my top priorities.  I’m still in search of a balance, and I think this is a step in the right direction.

Well, it’s not Thursday, but it is cold and rainy outside, and the calendar happens to be open.  I think I’ll start a fire tonight and see what the evening holds.

May God help you find balance in your life.

God Is Still God

I don’t like discussing politics, and I am very glad the elections are over.  I will admit that I am disappointed in the results.  However, as I woke up this morning, God is still God and that won’t change.  He still reigns, and that will never change, regardless of the popular vote.  My hope is not in the government or in Wall Street.  My hope is in Jesus Christ, and I find great peace in that.  Psalm 46 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.  There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.  God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.  Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts His voice, the earth melts.  The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.  Come and see the works of the Lord, the desolations he has brought on the earth.  He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire.  “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”

In chapel the last few weeks we have been studying Joshua and Caleb.  These two men were among the twelve sent by Moses to spy out the “Promised Land.”  Ten out of the twelve saw the giants and brought back a message of fear.  Joshua and Caleb came back with a message of faith that with God’s help they could take the land.  They believed God.  However, the people listened to the ten and sinned against God in their unbelief.  As a result, they were not allowed to enter the Promised Land and wandered around in the wilderness for 40 years until the last of the rebels had died.  It is obvious that the majority is not always right, and this is becoming more and more true the further America falls from our foundation and becomes more self-centered.  Six times in God’s word Caleb is described as serving God wholeheartedly.  He wasn’t in the majority back then and he wouldn’t be today.  How many today truly follow God wholeheartedly, even those who call themselves Christians?  Joshua and Caleb were faithful men, but they still had to suffer 40 years in the wilderness with the rest of Israel.  They were men of faith and integrity, so this was used as a growth process for them.  And in the end, they were rewarded for their faith as they got to enter the Promised Land.  Caleb said he was just as strong the day they entered the Promised Land at the age of 85 as he was when he spied on it 40 years earlier. 

We must not give up being faithful.  We must live our lives with eternity in mind.  Everything on Earth, including the presidency, is temporary.  I am a Christian, not a Republican or a Democrat or anything else.  The way I live my life will not change just because someone else has the office of the presidency.  Trying to live like Christ wants me to is just as important today as it was yesterday.  I will commit to pray for our new president each Sunday and other times as needed, just as I have done for President Bush the last several years.  God is still God and that will never change.

May God give you peace today and may we be like Christ to our world!