To Be Continued…

The rest of our staff and I have just returned from the Ozark Christian College Preaching and Teaching conference, and my cup is full.  I attended 13 sermons and seminars over the past three days, and have brought back a wealth of information that I’m still processing.  With all of that and the Love and Respect class I’m facilitating, I have so many things I want to write that I can’t quite decide where to start.

Okay, after writing that, I’ve decided not to write anything more for now.  After seeing so many “I’s” in the last sentence, I’ve decided to pray about this first and see where God leads.

God Bless!

Happy Birthday, Little Buddy

My little buddy is 3 today.  I lived in a pink world for a long time with the three girls, but now we have a lot of green in our world.  No, not blue…GREEN.  Yep… JOHN DEERE GREEN to be specific.  He has a John Deere tractor DVD that he wants to watch constantly, and it’s not even animated.  His favorite book right now is one about Corey Combine, Peter Pickup, and Johnny Tractor.  He knows it nearly word for word.  How many three year olds use words like cultivating and harvesting???  From what I’ve heard, he will be getting several John Deere gifts today from various people.  We also have friends who have offered to give him rides for his birthday on their actual John Deere tractors.  Ironically, the sign at the Fairgrounds says, “Welcome John Deere.”  My wife thought this must be a gift from God for his birthday, but called only to find out that it was a group coming in for classes on using a planter.  Bummer, we were hoping for some kind of farm show or something.  I know…we’re probably taking this way too far for a three year old.

Well, I have to tell a funny that he did yesterday before closing out.  My wife gave him some medicine and he asked if it was for his cough.  She said, “No, it’s to make your ears feel better.”  She turned around to get his cough medicine ready, and turned back around to find medicine running out of his ear, down his face and onto the floor…  I guess he thought that if the medicine was for his ear, he better put it there.  We got a good laugh out of that one.

He has changed our world in so many ways, and I thank God for blessing us with him.

God Bless you and Happy Birthday, little buddy!

Ten Key Moves – Family Vacation

With all the hits on my “Ten Key Moves” posts, it has reminded me that I need to finish listing them out.  There are still three key moves that I haven’t written about.  My next one is written like this: “We will take a week-long vacation each year, even if it’s close to home.”

I remembered reading one of Mark Merrill’s Family Minute articles, and went to my archives to pull it out.  It was from June 20, 2008 and contained this statement: “Best-selling author and psychologist Mary Pipher says there are three things that we usually remember with great happiness from our childhood—time outdoors, vacations and family meals.”  As I look back, I can totally agree with this.  We took a family vacation every year.  It was a time where my stepdad would cut loose and have fun.  It was a time where we didn’t worry as much about money because we had saved for the trip all year. 

I remember numerous trips to Yellowstone.  We always “had” to be there by June 15 when Yellowstone Lake would open for fishing.  All of our vacations were centered around somehow at least spending some time in Yellowstone each summer.  I still view Yellowstone as one of God’s masterpieces.  There are just so many ways to experience God’s beauty and creativity there.

One year we went to Glacier National Park at the northern border of Montana.  Another year, after going to Yellowstone, we went home via Utah and saw the Great Salt Lake, Zion National Park, and other sites…  In 1990, the year I graduated from high school, we spent four weeks and drove roundtrip from Abilene, TX to Alaska.  Our van broke down in Amarillo, TX.  It was going to be 2-3 weeks before we could get a part, so my stepdad bought a new Aerostar.  We put over 10,000 miles on it the first month…  I can still recall those images of Mt. McKinley and seeing a grizzly bear, wolves, and some elk on the same hillside using binoculars.  I have great memories of rafting down the Gulkana river and fishing for King Salmon.  That is still the biggest fish I have ever caught.  Alaska is also the first and only place I have ever tried to water ski… not one of my best moments.   One night, we fished until 2:00 a.m. and my stepdad still had his sunglasses on because it was around summer solstice.  Those memories come back like they happened yesterday.  I have a longing to revisit some of those places.  My love for the mountains was born on those trips.

Vacations are a great way to get away from everything and really focus on our families, if we just will.  We need to take a break from our incredibly busy schedules and enjoy life.  Vacations are one way to do this. 

I want my children to have great family vacation memories.  They still talk about the time we spent four days at Red River Ranch Retreat in Oklahoma.  We spent time swimming, riding horses, fishing, canoeing, and just having good family fun.  They also talk about the time we went to see some friends in Virginia and spent a few days in Washington, D.C.  We saw many of the places they are talking about in their history and social studies classes.  Last year, gas prices were so high, and we got so busy with softball, summer camps, etc… that we really didn’t take a true vacation.  It will have to be a priority that we plan, budget for, and put on the calendar to protect it.  But, from experience, it will be worth it to make this one of my ten key moves in winning at home.

May God bless you as you make great family memories!

Love and Respect

I am facilitating a Love and Respect class on Wednesday nights, and was thrilled to have 28 people attend our first class last night.  Ironically, when I talked to my mentor yesterday, I found out that his small group began the same study last week.  He told me that he has actually met and visited with Dr. Eggerichs, and believes him to be one of the best teachers on the topic of marriage.  From what I’ve seen, I have to agree.

In addition, our small group will be going through the Fireproof Your Marriage study beginning Sunday night.  Last Sunday we watched the movie together.  One of the lines from the movie that has stuck with me goes something like this, “Fireproof doesn’t mean that the fire won’t come, it just means that you’ll be able to withstand the fire when it does come.”  Anyway, it’s a great movie, and I look forward to the study. 

Back in October, we went to the Love and Respect conference and then went and saw the movie Fireproof right afterward.  It’s amazing how those two really complement one another.  It’s ironic that I’m now facilitating both studies at the same time…

So…  I am going to try to make it a point to write more about marriage and what we are learning in these two classes.  Once again, I am no expert (unless an expert is someone who understands how much he still doesn’t understand), but would like to pass along what I learn along the way.  One thing about it, though, is that it doesn’t matter how many books we read, conferences or classes we attend, or how much counseling we go to if we aren’t going to take it to heart and apply what we learn.  I liken this to when I was in school.  There were classes that I took out of obligation to get my degree.  I gritted my teeth and did what I had to do to get through the class.  However, my heart wasn’t in it, and I have rarely applied what I learned in those classes to my daily life.  I never made a career out of Literature or Fine Arts.  I took just the required number of classes in those subjects.  However, I took every agriculture class I could take.  My GPA was a 4.0 in my major.  I went on to a very good career in this field before God brought me into ministry.  Come to think of it, there is still much of what I learned in the area of leadership and teaching that I’m still applying today.

I now need to major in really knowing my wife and children.  I must be intentional in knowing how they tick and what makes them feel loved and secure.  It’s not going to matter if I go through these classes if I’m not going into it with the heart of wanting to understand my wife better and how to love her more deeply, and vice versa for her.  Our marriage is strong right now, but that doesn’t mean we start coasting.  We need to constantly be learning.  I’m afraid that many are gritting their teeth and just doing what they “have” to do to get by in their marriages (much like Caleb Holt was doing when he first began the Love Dare in the movie, Fireproof).  Their hearts aren’t in it anymore, and they aren’t seeing hope. 

Last night on the DVD, Dr. Eggerichs gave us a fresh look at Ephesians 5:33:  However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  He talked about how the language of love comes naturally for women.  It is part of their nature to give and understand love.  That’s why God doesn’t have to command them to love.  However, the language of love does not come natural for men.  God had to command us to love our wives unconditionally (agape).  On the other hand, the language of respect comes naturally for men.  It is part of our nature to give and understand respect.  We would die for our wives out of honor, and that mustn’t be taken lightly.  It is something deep within us.  God doesn’t have to command us to respect, but He did command women to respect their husbands.  There is so much to this, and I’ll try to expand on it as time goes on. 

I have so many thing going through my head right now that I want to write, but I must narrow it down.  Since Valentine’s is just a few days away, let me talk about love languages for a minute.  This is applicable to spouses and children, alike.  Gary Chapman wrote two books about this, one for spouses and one for children.  However, they are very similar.  The five love languages are quality time, gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation, and acts of service.  We all have a primary love language, which refers to the action by other individuals that makes us feel the most loved.  For instance, when I spend quality time with my wife, away from the children, just talking and enjoying one another’s company (without hidden motives), this speaks great volumes of love to her.  If I give her a gift, it is appreciated, but is doesn’t fill her “love tank” like quality time does.  Other love languages should be incorporated in the relationship, but we should always make sure that the primary one is ”spoken” on a regular basis.  As a hint:  the one that your spouse or child most naturally speaks to others is often their own love language.  So, my challenge to you this Valentine’s Day (and every other day for that matter) is to speak the love languages of your loved ones. 

Now, another bit of advice regarding Valentine’s Day: Guys, don’t get her something that is actually a gift for yourself, if you get my drift…  Ladies, now you know what he wants for Valentine’s.   Just kidding – Let me debunk the myth that all men have the same love language, and that it’s a three letter word…  While we are designed by God to be sexual in nature, and it is one of our top three needs there is more to us than this.  We also need to be respected, and we each have a love language.  Now, please allow me to say something to both husbands and wives that I’ve learned over time:  If men will learn to be loving and if women will learn to be respectful on a day-to-day basis, AND if we will speak the love languages of our spouses on a regular basis FROM THE HEART, the physical intimacy will be incredible.  There is no easy formula, and it takes a lot of time and effort to get to know our spouses at this level, but it is more than worth it to have a marriage that glorifies God and exemplifies the relationship of Christ with His bride, the church.

This brings up one more thing.  If you want true intimacy in your human relationships, you must first build an intimate relationship with the Lord.  Everything hinges on this.  God’s blessings come when we put Him first and foremost in our lives.  I’ve written on this topic before, so  I’ll leave you with that for today. 

If anyone wants to start a dialogue, especially those going through one of these classes, please feel free.  I’m always willing to converse and learn!

May God bless your relationships as you seek Him!

7 C’s

One member of our church Outreach Ministry Team had a dream, and was willing to put forth his resources to get it started.  The team latched onto this dream, and our church came together in giant numbers (but acting as one) to make it happen.  It was our idea to give a dozen chocolate chip cookies to every first responder in our city (305 total).  We called this idea the 7 C’s (Crossroads Christian Church Chocolate Chip Cookie Crusade).  Along with the cookies in each box, we put a department-specific note thanking them for all they do to keep us safe and letting them know we are praying for them. 

The children and youth came together (approx. 70 in all) under the direction of some very dedicated Sunday School Teachers and decorated all 305 boxes.  At least 64 people signed up to bring homemade chocolate chip cookies.  We had at least 35 people who came together last night to pack the cookies into the boxes.  And over the next three days, at least 20 people will be involved in delivering the “thank you’s” to all the first responders.  I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that probably 2/3 or more of the people who attend on Sunday mornings were involved in at least one facet of this project or another.  That is incredible!!

I had the privilege of helping to deliver to a fire station, police station, and sheriff’s office today, and it was incredible.  Being thankful and honoring others just makes the heart feel really good.  I’m so excited to be a part of a growing, vibrant church who is reaching out in the name of Jesus Christ to show His love in our community and around the world.

May God bless you as you reach out to others in the name of Jesus!

Outreach

As God continues to teach me about discipleship, I’m becoming more and more aware that while Jesus did teach in the synagogue, He also taught on hillsides, in houses, in boats, and along the road.  He went into communities and put his teachings into action as He showed love to the people through His amazing deeds.  He rebuked those who were all about rules and traditions made by men, but who showed no love toward God or people.  Yet, he handled the common sinner with love and grace.  As I study how to be a disciple, my prayer is that I will be more and more like Jesus everyday.  I want to reflect Jesus’ love in everything I do, and yesterday God orchestrated a day to really help me understand this.

In the morning, I spent some time at a local nursing home.  I led a few songs and gave a devotional.  I’m not so sure they were blessed by my song leading.  I can sing okay, but I’m horrible at leading songs.  In fact, it sounded a lot like a train wreck…  Afterward, I spent some time going around talking to the people.  It was a blessing to be there.  These are people who have gone before us, and who have wonderful stories to tell if we’ll take the time to stop and listen.  They also have a lot of great wisdom to pass along.

In the afternoon, I went to a local elementary school and read to the Kindergarten and Second Grade classes.  I usually read to the First Graders, too, but it didn’t work out yesterday.  This is a standing appointment on the first Tuesday of each month, and is a highlight of the month for me.  It is so rewarding because they give lots of hugs and are always excited to see me.  I’ve come to realize that I’m building a relationship with them and that this goes far beyond being a guy who just comes and reads, often using funny voices.  I’ve had one little girl tell me that I was like a father to her and a little boy tell me that he was my number 1 fan.  Last time I read, a little girl shared that her mom and dad don’t like each other anymore and she sure misses her daddy.  Last week, I saw a couple of the children while I was serving at the soup kitchen.  It is very cool when I see one of them out in the community.  They always run up to me to say, “hi” and often give me a hug.  I started a few years ago with the Kindergarten class.  I have built a good friendship with the teacher.  She knows she is on my prayer list, and sometimes she sends me prayer requests.  When that first class of Kindergartners moved up, I then began to read to the Kindergarten and First Grade classes.  Well, when they moved up, I began to read to all three classes…  In a few years, I guess I’ll be reading to all grades.

Yesterday evening, several of us helped serve meals at our local Christian Soup Kitchen.  I had the priviledge of giving the devotional there, too.  It seems that God is giving me lots of opportunities to teach.  Yesterday, one of the guys felt comfortable to ask a really good question, so we had some good interaction.  It was such a blessing to serve families with spiritual and physical nourishment.

To top it off, I had some really good time with my family last night, each individually.  It was a rare occasion that I was the first one home.  There were a lot of activities going on, so the times they all got home were staggered.  That made it to where I had a little one-on-one time with each one.  We had some good talks as they shared about their day.  The two oldest had participated in an art class and wanted to show me what they did and tell me all about it.  My son and youngest daughter had spent some time at a friend’s farm and then at a basketball game.  My son came in talking 1000 wpm telling me all about it.  He didn’t even calm down while we read his John Deere tractor book…  That boy is so much into John Deere tractors that I think he’s turning green.  I was finally getting him down as my wife came in from volleyball and grocery shopping, so hopefully it was a low stress night for her.  At least the kids were in bed and the dishwasher was mostly loaded.

I don’t share all these things to say, “Hey, look at what all I did.”  In fact, I don’t feel like I do enough most of the time.  I say this to show you how God gave me an opportunity to put into practice what He has been teaching me in my time with Him.  I spent time with people of all ages yesterday, and no matter where they are in their lives, they all need Jesus.  They all need to be loved. 

I’ll leave you with John 15:8-12 – “My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples.  Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.  If you keep My commandments, you will abide in my love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.  These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.  This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.” 

May we spread the love of Jesus, so proving to be His disciples!

Road Trip

My two middle daughters and I hit the road last Thursday night for a quick road trip to Texas.  It is a 6 1/2 hour trip, and they traveled really well.  The question that always kills me, though, is “what town is this?”  That’s all fine and good except that we’re out in the dead middle of nowhere.  So, I say, “Do you see any buildings or lights?”  “No.”  “Okay, we’re not in a town, we’re in the country.”  “Oh, what country are we in?…”  All I could do was laugh and say, “We’re still in the good ol’ USA,” and then went on to explain the difference between the country and the city.  How can I call myself a redneck when my kids don’t know the basics, such as the difference between the country and the city?  Not to mention, they don’t much care for biscuits and gravy…

We got to spend some great time with my mom and were able to see my grandpa, too.  Grandpa is in the VA rehab center trying to regain his strength.  It is so tough seeing my hero so weak and devastated by Alzheimers.  I fed him part of his lunch, which was humbling.  The gentleman on the other side of me said, “How do they expect us to chew this meat if we can’t even cut it.”  I offered to cut it for him.  He refused at first, but after struggling for a time, took me up on my offer.  I found out real quick that there was a reason he couldn’t cut it… they might consider having bandsaws available the next time they offer those steaks…  After lunch, my girls and my nephew were visiting with and giving hugs to some of the other veterans out in the hallway.   There is just something about little children that warms the hearts of those around them.  In some very small way, I felt like we were serving our veterans that day, and it felt good.

While we were gone, I was also able to see my wife’s parents and grandmother for a short time, and we had a good visit.  While with them, I got to have a little time with a family member whose husband performed our wedding almost 15 1/2 years before to the day.  He passed away in December.  I was able to sit and visit with her just the two of us, which was special.  Hopefully I was able to encourage her.  I know I was encouraged just talking to her.  She gave me the opportunity to go through his books and take whatever I could use.  She also gave me one of his Bibles.  That was a real blessing.

I had a great talk with my sister and with my neice while on our trip, too.  I haven’t taken the opportunity to do this for a long time.  I pray that I was of encouragement to them, as well.  God has really given me a desire to teach, counsel, and disciple.  Most of the time, I feel so inadequate.  I think that’s a good thing, because it makes me realize how completely dependent upon God that I am.  I must daily seek Him and ask for wisdom. 

I don’t think I could have asked for a better trip.  The weather was beautiful and the conversations were rich and meaningful.  I feel like we really made the best of the time we had with family.

On another note and speaking of “road trips,” I now feel comfortable sharing something with my readers.  Since Mom is one of my readers, I wasn’t about to mention this until I had told her in person…  I believe God is calling me to go on a short term mission trip to Thailand.  I’ve been encouraged to go before, but haven’t sensed a calling until now. 

A dear brother in Christ travels there at least twice a year.  When he came back from his last trip, he reported on a village of 25-27 families that are mostly widows and single mothers.  In fact, he said that he only saw three men in the whole village.  They are refugees from Burma (Myanmar), and are living in extreme poverty.  When I heard about this village, I immediately felt the need to do something.  Now it looks like, Lord willing, I will get to go there with some others to minister to them for about three weeks beginning mid-October.  I am really excited about this opportunity. 

I would like to begin assembling a prayer team, because I think that is the most important thing we can do.  I will try to keep regular updates here on my blog as to how things are coming along and what the prayer needs are.  Please let me know if you would like to partner with us in prayer.  I’m so excited about what God is going to do!!

May God richly bless you with good family time today!