Dad’s Who Get It – The Perfect Father

Happy Father’s Day!!

I won’t write much today because I’m on my way out to play with the kids.  I just had a few reflections today, as I wrap up my series called, “Dad’s Who Get It.” 

Today is June 15.  As I reflect back on my own childhood, June 15 was a very significant date.  It was the date that Yellowstone Lake opened up for fishing.  Yellowstone was our favorite family vacation spot, and my stepdad wanted to be there on that day fishing, no matter what.  A few times it was snowing on that day, but we had our “Spin-a-Lures” in the water, dodging ice chunks trying to catch those illusive trout.  In thinking of this date, I have to think about all that my stepdad did for me.  We went on a lot of really great vacations.  I have seen Mt. McKinley in Alaska, have rafted the Snake River, have been to the top of Pike’s Peak, have seen Old Faithful, the Grand Canyon, the Great Salt Lake, the Giant Sequoias, the Pacific Ocean, and Mt. Rushmore.  I have been to the Rockies, the Grand Tetons, and the Canadian Rockies.  I have been to Disneyland and a few major league baseball games.  There are more things we did, but I think you get the picture.  Many of those memories feel like yesterday.  My stepdad helped me to start and run my own lawn business.  He taught me financial discipline by having me help with balancing the family checkbook and being open with the finances.  He taught me discipline in other areas of life and to do my best no matter what.  He urged me to go to college.  I appreciate all that he taught me more today than ever.  No, he wasn’t perfect, but God has a way of turning negatives into positives.  My stepdad did the best he could, especially considering he had never had children of his own.  He started out with a fourth grader and a Kindergartner.  His dad had really not been around for him either.  He had to learn ”on the fly.”  He was faithful, though.  He didn’t run, but stayed the course.  He was there for me when my dad wasn’t.  Thank you doesn’t seem like enough, but I’ll try to say thank you by being the best dad I can be to my kids.  He now has a daughter of his own, and he adores her.  We went through some rough waters, but there has been forgiveness and reconciliation.  In fact, I pray for him often as he is facing health challenges.  The negatives have faded, and the positives have risen to the surface.  Amazing how God works that out!

Just a side note – I have been reminiscing a lot this week because we were Lakers fans in those days, and often it was the Lakers and Celtics in the playoffs, just like they are now!!  Yes, Magic, Kareem, Cooper, Worthy, Scott, Green, Rambis, Bird, Parrish, McHale, Walton, Ainge (I couldn’t stand Danny Ainge) etc… have all retired, but the memories are there.  As I am watching the playoffs with my wife and oldest daughter (the others aren’t much into it yet), I find myself thinking about the old days.  We were usually in Yellowstone or in route during the playoffs.  We would try to find a place to watch the championship when possible.  Thanks for going down memory lane with me for a minute…   

Dads – none of us are perfect.  Not even all the guys I have featured in this series get it right all the time.  We all have our flaws and faults.  However, we can never let that be an excuse to quit trying or to not try at all.  God has given us an incredible responsibility in raising our children.  The journey is tough, but it’s so rewarding.  AND…  we have a Heavenly Father who is perfect and always faithful.  He will give us what we need when we need it.  He will use our mistakes and turn them into learning experiences.  He will filter out the bad and leave the good.  He will even take our good efforts and make them excellent.  He loves our children more than we do.  When we are having a tough time parenting, we should go to the ultimate Father.  His wisdom, just like His love, is perfect.  As fathers, we can have no greater responsibility than to seek our Father and have a relationship with Him.  Then, He will give us what we need to raise our children.  May God bless you as you seek Him in being a father, and may you enjoy your time with your children today.  Let’s all do out best to create great memories for our children to look back on.  God doesn’t call us to be perfect, just faithful!  I’m off to play catch, rent a movie, enjoy my new birdbath and various artworks that the kids made for me, drive my freshly cleaned truck, eat at Carlos O’Kelly’s, and whatever else comes along…

Dad’s Who Get It – Part 5 – Dr. Randy Pausch

Wow!  Many of you have probably heard about Dr. Pausch, who has become somewhat of a celebrity for his “Last Lecture.”  He is not only a dad who gets it but also a husband who gets it.  This is such an incredible, yet heartbreaking story.  I hope that it will inspire us to live each day with purpose.  His story inspires me to make the most of the time I have on earth and to make an impact while I’m here.  He inspires me to focus on what is important and to pursue those dreams that God has given me.  How many times do we squander time that we will never get back?  I don’t know where he stands spiritually, but there is so much wisdom to be gained.  I am including video links to all five parts of his interview with Diane Sawyer.  There are other videos on YouTube that you can watch, as well, including the entire lecture.  The lecture itself has a lot of language issues, but much can be gained from it.  May God bless you as you focus on what’s important and to pursue your God-given dreams.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZbOQqtDAW0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDIf4D4SQFo&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O8FvH_k2k4&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2HWTrDTsv0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSx-AB4JhvQ&feature=related

Dad’s Who Get It – Part 4 – Honoring My Hero

To a boy, a hero is bigger than life, brave, able to do anything, invincible, is always putting others before himself…  Yep, Grandpa fits the bill.  While so many boys choose their hero from fiction, mine was (and is) real.  I don’t really feel worthy to write about him, but today is Memorial Day and the perfect day to honor a veteran.  I am just blessed that he is still with us, and that I am enjoying some time with him today.  God works all things out for good.

Grandpa and I sat down a few years ago and I wrote down a lot of things about his life.  Unfortunately, I left that at home.  I may add to this post later when I have my notebook with me.  He is still able to recall some of the facts, which is amazing.

Grandpa joined the army in 1942 at the age of 19.  He was with Patton’s 3rd Army in the Battle of the Buldge in December, 1944.  He remembers being extremely cold and sleeping under his tank on Christmas Day, 1944.  In April, 1945, his tank was blown up.  He was thrown in a barn full of bodies and left for dead.  He crawled out and was captured by the German army.  Though he was injured badly, but was forced to march as a POW for 26 days.  He said they were allowed to go into a field and get one potato, if they were able and if a field was near, at the end of the day.  That was the only food they got.  He had shrapnel in his head from the tank explosion.  He lost 100 lbs during that march, and developed serious dysentary.  He said that what kept him going was the thought that his mother would never see him again.  A few hours after reaching the POW camp, they were rescued by the American forces.  He was immediately flown to Camp Lucky Strike and medical attention was given.  On June 1, 1945, he was on a ship headed home.  He landed in New York, then took a train to El Paso.  From there, he couldn’t find transportation to Amarillo, so he hitched a ride.  On Father’s Day, 1945, he walked up to the family home in Amarillo where he was welcomed home.  It took months for him to recover.  In fact, he still to this day lives with some of the repercussions of war.  He has two purple hearts and numerous other medals.

My Grandpa went on to marry Bonnie, and they had 4 children.  Bonnie died in an accident when my mom (the oldest) was about 10, leaving Grandpa to raise four children alone.  I don’t know a lot of the details during those years, and any of the family is welcome to add their comments.  However, let me say that my mom, two aunts, and uncle are the most giving, loving, caring, selfless people I know.  Grandpa must have done something right.  Of course, I think my great aunt and uncle helped a lot with their raising, too.

Let’s fast forward a few years.  My Grandpa has always been good to me.  When my parents divorced, my mom, sister, and I ended up moving in with my grandparents.  I can’t imagine where we would have been without them.  Mom worked hard in the Levi Strauss Plant, but it wasn’t enough to make end’s meet.  I think living with Grandpa was what I needed at that point in life.  He has always called me Son or Buddy.  It seems like a small thing, but in the absence of a dad, it meant the world to me for someone to call me Son.  Grandpa was always there for me.

One time, when I was about in the 8th grade, we went with him to the VFW for steak night.  I wore a ball cap into the VFW.  Grandpa didn’t say anything, but another gentleman walked all the way across the room to ask me to remove my hat and pointed to the sign on the wall.  I’m sure I didn’t have a very good attitude about it and asked what the big deal was.  My Grandpa, with tears in his eyes and getting choked up, said it was to honor the boys who died fighting for our freedom.  It was one of those moments that make you feel like the scum of the earth.  Though he had never laid a hand on me, I wished he would have just beat me or something instead of crying.  It made a huge impact on my life.  With just a few words, he taught me honor and respect.  I had been rightly put in my place, and to this day I remove my hat at the proper times and think about that moment.

Grandpa spent most of his life caring for others.  He was a nursing home administrator for years, and he and Grandma ran a nursing home out of their home as far back as I could remember, taking care of as many as 6 patients at a time.  In fact, when we lived with them, it was in their nursing home!  I saw first hand how to take care of people. 

When I was in college, they would have us over for dinner at least once a week and took us out to eat many times.  I would do my laundry at their house and just go to hang out.  I’ll never forget the time it was just he and I for a whole day.  We watched rerun after rerun of Walker Texas Ranger that he had recorded.  At the end of the day, he said, “Son, let’s not wait so long to do this again.”  What an awesome day!  One time, my student loan money hadn’t come in yet, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to start classes that Fall.  Grandpa wrote me a check and told me not to say a word.  I knew he couldn’t afford it, but he found some way to do it.  I knew better than to ask questions.  I paid him back when the loan check came in.  If anyone had need, especially a family member, he was there.  His kids are the same way.  I’m blessed to be a part of this family!

Well, I can’t imagine suffering like he did.  I have my freedom and enjoy a good life because of soldiers like Grandpa, who went before me and fought for it.  He slept under a tank on Christmas Day, so I could spend each Christmas enjoying my wife and children.  He and other soldiers disserve our utmost respect and honor for the huge sacrifice they have made.  Personally, I can’t imagine where I would be without Grandpa.  He is a man of few words, but when he speaks I listen.  Now, as he suffers from Dementia, I will continue to honor him in anyway I can and show him how much I love and respect him.  This blog post seems so inadequate, but it’s my heartfelt attempt to honor my hero.

Thank you, Grandpa for your love and sacrifice.  Your love for family is unmatched.  Your legacy will be one that goes far into the future because you invested in the lives of your children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.  I love you, Grandpa.

May God bless you and protect you!

 

Dads Who Get It – Part 3: The Glove That Fit

This is a personal story.  Today, I’m going to tell you about my Uncle.  He is a dad who gets it.  He stood in the gap for me, and modeled who a man is.  He is my uncle by marriage on my mom’s side, and he and my Aunt have always been like second parents to me.  Words cannot express what wonderful people they are.  I used to spend a lot of time with them in the summers when I was growing up.  To me, they were the model family – one that stuck together no matter what.  I never wondered if they were going to “make it.”  They were like a rock in an uncertain world.  I knew they would always be there, no matter what.  They always went to church.  When Sunday morning rolled around, there was no question as to whether we were going or not.  That was instrumental for me later on as our niece came to live with us and I was faced with how to raise a child.  I wanted to follow their lead. 

My Uncle always did stuff with us.  In fact, all the neighborhood kids would flock to their house because my Uncle would come out and play basketball or baseball or tag or whatever we were doing.  My cousin, who has always been like a brother to me, and I were talking just a few months ago about these things.  I was telling him how I believed fatherlessness is one of the greatest issues facing our nation.  I jokingly said to him that I was so sorry he had to deal with that issue growing up.  I kinda got choked up as we reminisced about all the things we had done with his dad.  He said his dad was always at his games and school functions.  In fact, he said that even at the ”away games” he was sometimes the only one in the bleachers on the visitor’s side.  I don’t know how he did it because he had a pretty demanding job, but he always managed to find time for his kids and a lot of other kids, like me, too.  I think my Aunt once told me that one of the kids came to the door and asked if my Uncle could come out and play.

In the summers, our favorite past time was baseball.  My cousin and I would take on the neighborhood kids and were undefeated.  I would go to a lot of his little league games when I would visit.  We were big Atlanta Braves fans (and still are to this day).  Dale Murphy, Claudell Washington, Chris Chambliss, Gene Garber… oh, the days.  To this day, baseball is still my favorite sport.  Anyway, that’s to preface the reason for the subtitle of this blog… 

When I was young and my dad would sometimes pick me up on Sundays to go to his place, the thing we did the most was play catch.  He gave me one of his old gloves.  It was huge, but it was the only one I had.  I went to visit my Aunt and Uncle one summer and had the glove with me.  My uncle, without saying anything, took me down and bought me a glove that fit.  He even wrote my name on it.  I’ll never forget that.  In fact, I still have both gloves (picture included).  I think of it like this:  He was there for me during the critical years, spending time with me and modeling manhood and fatherhood, which my own father failed to do.  I wasn’t yet ready for my dad to leave.  There were so many things he still needed to teach me.  He left me with a life that I had not yet grown into, which I relate to the glove that didn’t fit.  My uncle was there to stand in the gap and be the “glove that fit” until I could grow into manhood and make it on my own.  Yes, today, the glove he bought no longer fits and the glove my dad gave me does.  However, that smaller glove was critical in teaching me how to use the larger one later.  I still look up to my uncle and I have forgiven my dad.  Someday, at the right times, I’ll pass those gloves on to my own son.  I’m sure he’ll need even a smaller one to start with…  I usually don’t drop names on my blog, but my family knows who I’m talking about.  Thank you, Bubby (my nickname for him), for being a dad who gets it, and for stepping in for me during a critical time of my life with the glove that fit.  Thank you for taking me to church and for all the times you did things with us.  Thank you for making me one of your own.  I love you.  May God continue to bless you and your family!   

Dads Who Get It – Part 2

This is Part 2 in my series called, “Dad’s Who Get It,” where I will be honoring some men who have gone above and beyond to be good dads and mentors.  Here is another dad who has learned the Paradox Principle – Die to Live (see “10 Key Moves”).  His loving sacrifice for his son has made all the difference in the world.  Here is an awesome example of parents who got beyond the “only ifs” and on to the “what ifs”.  They helped their son find his true gifts and gave him opportunities to use them.  I love this young man’s attitude.  When asked about his disabilities, he says they aren’t really disabilities, but abilities.  Good reminder to focus on what God has given us, not on what He didn’t give us.  Have you discovered your own gifts?  Have you discovered the gifts of your children?  I would highly encourage you to do that.  One thing you can do is go to the “YourUniqueDesign” link here on my blog to get started.  Enjoy the video about Patrick Henry Hughes, and I hope you are encouraged today.  May God bless you as you seek to find your giftedness and that of your children!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-qTiYA1WiY8

Dads Who Get It: Part 1

All around us, I think it’s easy to see the dads who don’t get it, both in real life and on television.  As I have said before, so many dads have run from their duties.  Just ask the 24.7 million children living apart from their biological fathers (National Fatherhood Initiative).  Granted, not all of these are dead beat dads.  However, we have an epidemic of fatherlessness in our country.  Our media doesn’t help matters.  Let’s face it, men on television are depicted as lazy, bumbling goofballs who have no sense of responsibility.  Over the weeks leading up to Father’s Day, I am going to be honoring those dads who get it.  I will be sharing personal stories, as well as true stories I find from other sources.  Today, I would like for you to watch the videos below.  Dick Hoyt gets it!!  May God continue to bless this man and his son, Rick.  This is fathering at its best!  Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy8hOOvM0t0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uulmhtAeGI&feature=related