Stay the Course

I had a very interesting experience as a substitute teacher last Friday.  I took the assignment of going to the juvenile detention facility.  Contrary to what you might think, it was one of the easiest days I’ve had yet as a substitute.  I was there along with two other teachers, and we had twelve students.  In addition, there were three guards with us to make sure nothing happened.  With it being a Friday, the students wanted to be on their best behavior so they would have weekend privileges.  In many ways, it was much easier than being in the regular classroom.

I couldn’t help but wander about their stories.  Why were they there?  What was their home-life like?  Do they have dads in their lives who care?  How can I help?  My heart was breaking for them. 

One of the guys told me that between 5 and 10% of the youth who came there listed the father as “unknown.”  He also told me that well over half of them came from single parent families.  I’m guessing that 90% or more of them don’t have a good relationship with their dads, no matter if they are from a single parent or two parent home.  I felt like I was witnessing another consequence of fatherlessness in a very up-close way.  I really believe that most of them would turn things around if they had a good mentor, a father figure… at least someone in their life who cared.

Now, let’s spin the globe to the other side.  This morning, four of us met to talk about the trip to Thailand in October.  I learned more information about the village of Tee Po Kwah.  This is the village I spoke of awhile back that consists mostly of single parent families and widows.  I had assumed that the men were dying at the hands of the Burmese army, couldn’t get out of Burma to be with their families, or were trying to find work somewhere.  Unfortunately, much to my dismay, I learned that a great many of them had abandoned their families to find new wives and had succumbed to many of the same temptations that the men of America have.  It is a grim reminder that fatherlessness is a universal problem.  

I feel like God has placed me here for such a time as this.  I want to be used by God to stand in the gap and help hurting families, and to be on the frontlines of the battle against fatherlessness.  I often marvel at how He has brought me from a career as a meat scientist to being a minister and has giving me my heart’s desire of showing Christ’s love to people.  I have the greatest job on earth, as far as I’m concerned.  I get to carry out my life mission of ministering to single parent families locally, and it looks like I will get the chance to do this in Thailand in October, as well.  At the same time, I have opportunities to help strengthen marriages and minister to men, so maybe there will be fewer single parent families.  Not to mention, I have been given the privilege of leading and helping lead other ministries, such as the Small Group, Outreach and Shepherding ministries.  I pretty much get to minister to people of all ages at one time or another in the church and in the community.

If that wasn’t great enough, God has allowed me a unique way to minister to my own children, as well.  I get to teach chapel two days a week at the school where my daughters attend.  I can walk downstairs three days a week and have lunch with them, and I even get to substitute teach in their classes from time to time.  I know each of their teachers and see them daily when school is in session.  While we often have a busy schedule, I’m still home more than I was when I worked in the meat industry, and I’m at least home most evenings to help put them to bed.  This is so important to me because if I don’t father my own children and take care of my family well, everything else will be for nothing.   

Now, I say all this only to add this:  I’m thrilled where God has me, but I don’t want to just settle here.  I want to continue to grow.  I want to get more education in counseling so I can minister to people more effectively.  I need more ammunition for the battle, and I’m seeking God’s wisdom and guidance in how to do this.

Yesterday morning, in my time with God, this phrase came to my mind, “Moving from rhetoric to reality requires resolve.”  I don’t think I’ve ever heard this phrase before, but it sounds too complex to actually have come from me, so I’ll just give credit to God.  We need to get past fancy and glittery words and move toward actions.  It’s easy to say we will do something, but it takes resolve to make it happen.  We must be purposeful and intentional, and remember it won’t happen overnight.  Of course, it won’t happen at all, if we don’t come up with a game-plan and stick with it.  Just like with my Ten Key Moves.  If I write them down and don’t act on them, they will go down as more useless rhetoric.  Rhetoric doesn’t change lives and make a difference, action does.  With so much to do, I often get distracted from staying the course.  It seems like good things keep popping up that I allow to keep me from the best things.  That’s why it’s so important to put God first and listen to Him constantly.  When the children of Israel listened to God and obeyed, amazing things happened.  When they didn’t, disaster occurred.  I don’t know about you, but I want God’s best, not what I think is the best.  Let’s stay the course…

May God give us all the resolve to stick with the gameplan He has given us!

Ten Key Moves – Spiritual Leadership

I have had a lot of hits the past several days on my Ten Key Moves posts.  Being familiar with the Men’s Fraternity schedule, this doesn’t surprise me.  I am thankful for this because it has encouraged me to get out my list and take some time to review and reflect.  By the way, you can read all of the key moves I’ve written about under the category on my home page “10 Key Moves.”  Thanks for reading.

In reviewing my list, I see that I left out something very critical.  It’s something I’ve been working on, but is not on my list.  It has to do with my spiritual leadership at home, and I’m adding it now to be stated like this, “I will continue to grow so I will be a strong spiritual leader in my home.  I will lead family devotion and prayer times.  I will pray with my wife and children individually on a regular basis.  I will take every opportunity to teach and to lead by example, including finding opportunities for us to serve together.  I will encourage my family to pursue God individually, utilizing the spiritual disciplines that He has given us.”

In order for this to happen, I must be passionately pursuing God.  I cannot lead my family or anyone else spiritually if I am not growing.  In addition, I have to make it happen by setting aside a regular time and place where we will come together for family devotions and prayer.  Otherwise, it will be too easy to let other things take priority.

In my sermon this past Sunday I spoke about the need to be a disciple in order to make disciples.  An older couple in our church told me afterward that their 40 year old son told them that he remembers seeing his dad reading the Bible at the kitchen table and said it made such an impact on him.  That made me stop and think.  My time with God is usually spent in the early morning hours down in our basement before my family is even awake…

Okay.  With all this said, I would like to share something that I learned while preparing for my sermon.  I’ll give you the shortened version.  Have you ever heard the term “the apple of the eye?”  Usually, it is an endearing term used for someone we care about a lot, especially one of our children.   It can be found in the Bible in about four places, depending on what version you look at:  Deuteronomy 32:10, Psalm 17:8, Proverbs 7:2, and Zechariah 2:8.  Interestingly enough, it can also be translated “the pupil of the eye.”  It comes from the Hebrew phrase iyshown ayin, which means “little man of the eye.”  Have you ever looked into the pupil of someone’s eye.  You will see a small image of yourself.  In English the word pupil comes from the Latin word pupilla, or doll, which is derived from pupus or pupa (boy or girl, respectively).  Therefore, we use the term pupil to mean a student (small version of the teacher) or the black part of the eye where we see a reflection of our own image. 

I learned this as I was studying what it meant to be a disciple.  One of the definitions given for disciple is pupil.  As the word pupil means “little man of the eye” in Hebrew, we need to become little versions of our teacher (little men of our teacher’s eye).  That is what it means to become a disciple.  We should be so close to our Teacher that, in a spiritual sense, we can see our reflection in His eyes.  In addition, He should see Himself reflected in our lives.  In Jesus’ time, a disciple was one who was trying to become like his Rabbi in every sense.  He would not only be trying to gain knowledge, but would try to do everything the Rabbi did.  As disciples of Jesus, we need to learn to be like Him in every sense.  We need to have the knowledge, but we also need to live like He lived, doing the things He did.  When we do this, then we are equipped to make disciples, and it begins in our homes.

May God bless you as you seek to be a true disciple of Jesus Christ and lead others to do the same!

Tools, Tools, Tools

Nothing too deep today.  Just a story to share.  It was just my little guy and me at home last night, as the girls all had other things going on.  I decided to hang a mirror in the kids’ bathroom that we purchased on Saturday.  It was so cool because we found the perfect mirror that would tilt down for the kids, and it was on clearance at Lowe’s for 50% off!   We were finding that one mirror was not enough for three girls when they were all trying to brush hair, teeth, etc… in the mornings to get ready for school or church.  Imagine that!

So, I started getting all the tools together – drill and bit set, level, screwdriver, tape measure, hammer…  Yes, I needed a hammer to install a mirror as scary as it sounds.  I had to tap the wall anchors in.     I got a little nervous when I looked at the list of recommended tools for the job, though.  It included a hacksaw, pipe wrench, and pipe cutter!!  Even though I’m a little slow in the home improvement department, I quickly figured out that this was a generic list for any fixtures that this company produces, especially when one of the instructions said to be sure and cut off the water before installing the product… 

Immediately, my son got excited, and ran to his room to get his tools.  I decided to stop for a minute and help him pick out the same “tools” from his toolbox that I was going to be using.  Of course, he had to get his hard hat, too.  Maybe he was afraid I would drop the mirror on his head.   He kept asking, “What are you doing?” and “What’s that?”.  I really laughed when I said, “Hmmm…”, and then heard a little echo, “Hmmm…”   He was mimicking everything I was doing.  I’ve come to expect that, but it still fascinates me that he is watching me so closely. 

When we were finished, we had done something constructive and had some great time together.  I was just happy that it was all level and looked nice.  For me, there is a great sense of satisfaction when I’m able to do things like this, and especially when I can include the kids.

Now, I just need to schedule my projects so I can include other kids who don’t have dads around.  I would love to do that, but I do so many things on the spur of the moment.  Of course, there wasn’t room in the bathroom for too many more little hands, but I need to be thinking along those lines.

May God richly bless you today!

I’m Watching You, Dad

I have a bum finger, making it a little uncomfortable to type, plus I’m trying to get ready to preach on Sunday.  Therefore, I’m not going to write much today.  However, I do want to share this video that one of my good friends sent me yesterday.  It meant a lot coming from him because he said it reminded him of my son and me.  I actually have a picture of my son and I “mowing” the yard together like the one in the video.  Powerful message…

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=5486ae62fd502645138e

May God bless you today!

Fathers Matter

If you have followed my blog much at all or have read some of the archives, you know I am passionate about ministry to single parent families.  This article from All Pro Dads sparked me and I want to share it with you.

This post is really not for single moms.  It is for those who have an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of fatherless children.  However, I know that some single moms will read this, so I want to give this disclaimer:  If you are a single mom about to read this,  PLEASE don’t automatically think that your son or daughter is going to fit into one of these statistics just because they live in a single parent family.  God is the father to the fatherless and the defender of widows.  Put your children in God’s hands.  He will bring mentors around them to fill the gaps where you can’t.  Pray fervently, and watch God work in the lives of your children.

Dads, let’s make a difference in the lives of our children.  Be engaged.  Help them grow in their walk with God.  Don’t leave them hanging.  Be intentional.  Teach your sons what it means to be a man.  Let them know they have what it takes – don’t leave that question unanswered.  Let your daughters know they are lovely, beautiful, and captivating.  Let them know they are a real princess, because their real Daddy is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords (part of a Dean Trune quote).  Teach them what to look for in a man.  Tell all your children that you love them and are proud of them and tell them some things they are good at for starters.  I could write so much more, but I need to end here for today. 

If you cannot tell, I have a renewed sense of urgency today.  Read this and learn why.

http://www.allprodad.com/playbook/viewarticle.php?art=53

May God give you wisdom in living our true and undefiled religion…

Gracious or Graceless?

My need for a mentor has never been more evident to me than it was yesterday as I talked to mine by phone.  He graciously, without beating it over my head, pointed out some things and made some connections to things to which I’ve been totally blinded.  These are things that could have some serious implications in the future if not corrected.  These are things that are affecting my relationship with God and with those around me.

God has been teaching me some things in my time with him, and then He used my mentor’s wisdom to really bring it together.  I have a critical spirit, and I know that about myself.  I just didn’t realize how bad it was and to what degree it was being manifested in my life.  My mentor told me yesterday that often he is critical of others in areas where he is weak in order to make himself look and feel better.  It’s a thing he does out of pride to cover his weakness, so others won’t see it and think more highly of him.  At first, I didn’t think it applied to me.  WRONG!!!  He hit the nail on the head.  In fact, I’m pretty sure he saw it in me, but was gracious not to come out and say it.  Instead, he said it in such a way that made me think on it for 24 hours.

I believe my critical spirit and attitude has hurt my relationship with my children and with some people in our church, particularly the other staff and leadership.  It mostly happens with those I have the highest expectations of.  It has caused me to be highly frustrated and I’ve allowed it to steal my joy in parenting and in ministry to a degree.  I’m sure it has actually come out in my blog posts, but I’ve been blinded to it.  While my intention was to make this blog a place where people can come for encouragement, I’m not sure that’s what my readers always find.

My mentor pointed out the fact that I ”might be” taking on responsibilities that aren’t mine to take on.  I have taken up battles that are not mine to fight, especially alone.  With this, I often feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.  I take on so much responsibility that I have no down time.  Then, I begin to get frustrated and tired, and then begin to get critical of others when they aren’t stepping up and taking responsibility the way I think they should.  I know this has been evident in my blog posts because I have been especially critical of fathers who aren’t stepping up.  I have taken on a crusade, of sorts, to single handedly end fatherlessness and defend the widow and the orphan.  I have even been applauded by others for my efforts, which feeds this insanity and encourages me to keep on fighting the battle.  While on the surface, all this may seem valiant, it is really arrogant and prideful.  I’m trying to be the savior.  Not only am I trying to play the role of God in convicting people of their actions or lack thereof in “my battle”, I am also being so arrogant as to think I can win this battle alone.   The result – fatigue, discouragement, finger pointing, lack of joy, etc…  Then, I come across as very graceless rather than loving.  The truth is, my negativity will never bring out the positive in others, so I’m really defeating my purpose and fighting against the tide. 

The thing that hurts the most is that I know I’ve been very critical toward my children.  I’ve been trying to convict their hearts so much that the encouragement and “truth in love” part hasn’t been so evident.  I’ve come across as very graceless.  I know I’ve touched on this before in a previous post about never being able to please my stepdad and how that hurt me.  And, I know I’ve said that I don’t want to hurt my children in that way.  However, I’m afraid I have been, with comments like: “you know better than that” and “what were you thinking” and “don’t you know there’s a billion starving children in this world”.  There’s not much room for mistakes and learning.  While it hurts to admit that, I believe it is the first step in God changing my heart.  He’s done it before in other areas where I’ve been blinded and weak, and I know He’ll do it again when I humbly seek Him.

Don’t get me wrong.  I do have a good relationship with my children and we have some good times together.  However, I can see where my critical spirit will have some incredible implications for the future and needs to be taken care of now, while they are still young.

I see now that God has been gently and methodically teaching me in recent months so that I was ready for my mentor to help put the pieces together yesterday.  I’m thankful God and Dean have been more gentle and full of grace toward me than I’ve been toward others.  God could not have taught me through a better person because He knows I’ll listen to him, even though it took  a little time for it to sink in.

I don’t know if all this makes sense to anyone else, but it has never been more clear to me.  Please pray that God will change my heart and that His grace will shine through me toward others.  Please pray that God will also continue to point out my blindspots as I grow.

May God’s grace be evident in us all.

What a Boy Needs to Hear From His Dad

This post stems from an email conversation I had with a friend this morning in regards to the post I wrote a few days ago about manhood lessons.  I may have written this same stuff another time, but that’s okay, it’s worth repeating.

Robert Lewis teaches in Men’s Fraternity that boys need to hear three things from their dads:  1)  I love you.  2)  I’m proud of you.  3)  You’re good at ________________.  Let me add here that these things need to come from the dad’s heart and must be lived out in his life.  I’ve shared before that my parents divorced when I was about 5.  My dad would sometimes come and get us on Sundays.  He was and still is a very social person (liked to be the center of attention), so he knew a lot of people around town.  We would go to the bowling alley, and he would say stuff like, “Here’s my pride and joy” or “meet the boss,” etc…  While that should have made me feel good, it had the opposite effect because it wasn’t lived out.  He didn’t do things that told me that I was his pride and joy.  If I was his pride and joy,  why did I always play second fiddle to softball, golf, bowling, and dog shows?  Why did he not attend my graduation from high school or either graduation from college (though in the same town where he lived)?  Empty words don’t fill an empty heart.  Again, we have reconciled and there has been forgiveness.  I only use this as an example from my life experience.

At least twice in the book of Matthew, God gives us an example of what Robert Lewis is saying.  Matthew 3:17 says, “And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is My Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased’.”  Matthew 17:5 says, “While He was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, ‘This is My Son, who I love; with Him I am well pleased.  Listen to Him!’”

Can you imagine having affirmation from your dad like this?  Can you imagine your dad telling your closest friends:  “This is my son, and I love him.  Listen to him because he knows what he’s talking about.  He’s really good at what he does.”  I would just settle for my dad telling me that from his heart, without telling my friends… 

I won’t hold my breath on that one.  However, I have learned to find my significance from my Heavenly Father.  I don’t have to work to impress Him.  He loves me just the way I am.  Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t want me to stay this way.  He wants me to grow, but He meets me where I am and gently guides me along.  He has even given me His Holy Spirit to counsel me and to affirm me when I have pleased Him or convict me when I’ve sinned.  Shouldn’t we take a lesson in how to love our sons according to how God loves us.  Won’t this help our sons to have a healthy view of who God is? 

Ouch, I think I may have just hit a nerve.  Many of us don’t have a healthy view of God because of how our fathers treated us, so we pass this along to our children.  Men, let me encourage you to draw near to God and He will draw near to you.  He will heal the hurts of the past, and make us whole.

Men, we have a choice to make.  We can perpetuate the cycle or we can shut it down.  Our sons can grow up confused like we have or we can teach them a different way that is found in an abiding relationship with Christ.  Let’s affirm our sons and those other boys in our lives who don’t have fathers around.  Let’s let them know that we love them, are proud of them, and that they are good at something.  Let’s bring honor back to the title of “Father.”  Let’s honor God by teaching our sons and other boys, by example, to be men after God’s own heart.   We can change the course of history.

A few years ago a group of men came together at our church to call a boy from a single parent home into manhood.  We gave him gifts and told of their significance.  We each wrote him a letter.  We prayed for him, and each of us touched his shoulders with a sword.  We told him that we loved him, that we were proud of him, and affirmed him in what he is good at.  He knows that even to this day he call on any one of us.  This is one young man who didn’t leave the church after high school.  He still attends and serves faithfully.  The growth has been phenomenal.

Once again, I’ve said more than I intended when I started out.  Please, let me reiterate that I’m no expert.  I’m just a dad trying to navigate the rough waters of fathering in a fallen world.  I’ve had my share of failures when it comes to fathering, and I mess up daily.  I’m just sharing what I’ve learned from others and from life experience.  I have a little guy at home who is trying to be like me.  I just want to try to be like my Father, so I can be a good example to him.  Fortunately, my girls want to be like their mom, so there is still hope!!

On that note, you may be thinking, “you’ve talked a lot about sons – what about daughters?”  Well, I’ve learned that little girls need something different from their dads, and I’ll have to get to that another day.  We still have to set the example of being a loving father, but we speak to them in a different language.  It’s called shopping….  Just kidding. 

By the way, I’m guessing the majority of my readers are women, so please feel free to pass this along to men you know.  However, please do so in love, not with a ”here’s what you need to fix your problem” attitude.

All praise and glory to our Heavenly Father, who loves us just the way we are!  May He bless you and keep you today.

Manhood Lessons from Rudolph???

Last night my wife and oldest daughter came to the church building to help with the “Hanging of the Greens.”  My contribution was to help bring some of the decorations out of storage before leaving the office.  Then, I went home to care for the other three while they came here.  We have found it to be counterproductive to have all of them here for things like this.

Anyway, before leaving the house my wife told me that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer would be coming on if I wanted the kids to watch it.  Call me weird, but that was one of my favorite shows when I was growing up.  So, I built a fire, served dinner (that my wife had already prepared), and we settled in to watch this timeless classic.  Yes, there were a thousand things I could have been doing around the house, but I didn’t.

Last night I saw some things in the movie that I had never thought about before.  John Eldredge, in his book Wild at Heart, talks about the father wound.  Every man has a father wound, no matter how good his dad is / was.  The message that Rudolph got from his dad (Donner), because of his shiny nose, was that he wasn’t good enough, and that he didn’t have what it takes to be a “man”.  He wasn’t “normal.”  Too many times dads give their sons the message that they aren’t good enough.  Sometimes, this is done by leaving the family and never having anymore to do with them.  It can also happen with a father who doesn’t leave but is too busy to spend time with his son.  Then, there are those dads who just don’t know how to train up their sons because it wasn’t done for them, so they withdraw and disengage.  There are those words we say that cut them to the heart.  In all cases, if left as is, the boy grows up not knowing how to be a man and not having the question answered, “Do I have what it takes?”.  He will be full of questions and insecurity.  In this case, Donner later went out like a man to find his son to make things right.  He even apologized, which is huge.  We, as dads, aren’t going to get it right all the time.  However, we need to be ready to admit when we are wrong and willing to continue to grow.  Our children do not expect perfection, but they expect us to be real, honest, and available.

In this movie, Donner was doing the right thing by trying to teach Rudolph how to be a “buck.”  He was even warning him of the dangers to watch out for (Abominable Snow Man).  Later in the movie, Sam (the narrating snow man) said that there are a lot of dangers in the world to watch out for.  Wow!  There is a lot to be learned there.  Dad’s need to be teaching their sons how to be men, more importantly men of God.  They need to be warning their sons of the dangers of the world (the list is huge).  My stepdad did a good job of warning me about alcohol and drugs, but no one warned me about those things that men struggle with the most, like pornography and lust.  So much grief would be spared on the hearts of young ladies if dads would take a firm stance in this battle that the enemy wages against their sons’ hearts. 

The drive for success and wealth is another danger.  In this movie, I think Yukon Cornelius was just as dangerous as the Abominable Snowman because he was trying to tell Rudolph and Hermie that the answers were found in riches.  Many men work themselves into the ground, at the expense of their families, in search of the illusive, tantalizing dollar. 

I learned last week from a wise man that it is no longer good enough to tell our children “Because I said so.”  They are getting mixed messages from home, the church, the world, and the government / school.  In my parents’ time, these four institutions were more in sync.  Not anymore.  Our children are searching for answers, and we need to be available to give them the answers in truth and love.  If we dads don’t give our children the answers they need, based on the Truth, the world is happy to give them the answers.  Most of the time the answer is, “Do what feels good because you only live once.”  When dad is silent, the world speaks up loud and clear, and the boy listens to the one who will give him answers, even if they are wrong.  Then, he begins his tailspin toward destruction.  Dads and mentors need to step in and stop the tailspin before it’s too late!!

I was also struck by Hermie (the elf) and his dilemma.  He wasn’t satisfied making toys.  It did not fit his gifts and interests.  He wanted to be a dentist.  For that, he was mocked and laughed at.  This can be a lesson to all of us to help our children find their gifts and use them to the glory of God.  My four children are each very different.  I am trying to be a student of them so I can help guide them.  Sure, some of it comes with trying things to see if they like it or not, and sometimes we just have to do things we don’t enjoy.  I need to be available to help them process why they did or didn’t enjoy a particular activity.  I have a fear of failure, so I don’t try a lot of new things, and I don’t want my children to deal with that.

Lastly, the Island of Misfit Toys made me think.  We are all misfits on this earth.  We weren’t made for the earth.  We were made for eternity.  We mustn’t keep our mind on the things of the world, but those above.  We have to be eternally minded.  That doesn’t mean we sit and wait.  We need to be focused on going about our Father’s work until our Savior comes back to rescue us.  

There were other lessons, but that’s all for now.  I never knew I could learn so much from a claymation.

May God give you wisdom as you raise your sons and daughters in Truth!

Single Parent Thanksgiving Dinner

I can’t wait to tell you about the amazing day that I have had, but first I want to say that I hope my readers haven’t given up on me.  I apologize for not writing in awhile.  Life has been so busy lately.  I have been doing quite a bit of teaching and counseling and my mentor put it into perspective yesterday morning when he said he thinks I could be dealing with mental and emotional fatigue.  He said when he gets in from a weekend of teaching, he feels drained and has a hard time getting motivated on Monday morning.  Well, I have been that way, too, but have had to try to keep preparing more lessons.  Therefore, I haven’t had the mental capacity to write lately, though I enjoy it greatly.  I am really enjoying teaching and am learning alot, but I need to find a balance.  Dean told me that I need to find things that recharge me, and today was one of those days!

Yesterday was a long day.  I got to the office around 8:00 a.m. and left after 8:00 p.m.  I really enjoyed teaching my class last night on the topic of worship, but I was spent when it was over.  Soon after I got home I left again to be with a good friend who was in the middle of a crisis.  God really blessed my time with my friend, but I didn’t get home until around 12:30 a.m.  I was up again at 6:00 a.m. to meet with my band of brothers at 6:30 (fortunately we meet at my house).  We had some good prayer time.  After that, I was tempted to just get ready and head straight to the office.  However, I decided to just be late and have my time with God before getting ready.  After that, I walked on the treadmill (something I just started over the past week or so since someone blessed us with a nice treadmill!) and read from the book Quiet Strength by Tony Dungy.  I am really enjoying that book.

After that, I got ready and had a good breakfast and came into the office in a much better frame of mind than I would have, although it was almost 11:00.  I decided to not do any studying or preparing for classes today.  Instead, I have been needing to distribute posters for our Single Parent Family Thanksgiving Dinner that will be held on November 23.  I had no idea what God had in store for me today!!

I tried calling a few places first, but that didn’t work so well, so I asked God for direction and boldness and I just took off driving.  I’m really not comfortable doing stuff like this, but it is for a cause I believe in.  Besides, I really wasn’t asking them for money or anything…  I first went to a local Kwik Shop, but they can’t display anything like that unless approved by the corporate office, which is here in town.  I thought, “wow, if they let me put these up in all of their convenient stores and grocery stores, I can get all of my posters delivered quickly and be done.”  No, that’s not what God had in store because they wouldn’t let me do it.  However, God had bigger plans than having our posters at the c-stores and grocery stores.  I just drove around praying and stopping where I felt led. 

The next place I went was Giant Laundry.  Wow, was I blessed.  When I shared with the lady what I was doing she said, “By all means you can hang your poster.  I really believe in things like this.”  Then, she proceeded to remove a Halloween decoration off of the front door and told me I could put the poster right on the front door where everyone would see it when they came in.  I was pumped.  I got a prayer request from her and left excited.

Next, I went to a Family Dollar store and they allowed me to put my poster by the front door.  She also moved a Halloween poster so I could do this.  God was really working, and I was walking on air.  Did I mention that I’m really not very bold at asking to do these kinds of things?  Let me tell you, I was getting bolder by the moment in God’s power.

Across the street from there was Syndey’s Hairdressing College.  When my mom was a single parent, she often got our haircuts at the local “Beauty College.”  In fact, I have bad memories of getting my ear cut there once.  No worries… there were no lasting effects.   I took my poster in there and they were all impressed that we were going to do something like this.  They moved a sign advertising for “Hair Models” and put our poster right on the front of the receptionist’s counter where everyone would see it.  Two of the ladies at the counter are single moms and were excited about the event.  They also wanted to know more about our ministry.  I received prayer requests from three ladies there and went out praising God.

I then went to the mall, and although the management wouldn’t let me put up a poster, I went to a children’s museum in the mall and the manager was happy to put up a poster.  I had a great visit with her, and she let me look around at the possibilities for bringing some of the kids in our ministry to the museum sometime.  I asked her if I could pray about anything and she told me about her mom who was going under Hospice care for cancer.  Before I left, I saw an acquaintance who was there with her grandsons.  I asked her if I could pray about anything and she pointed to one of her grandsons and said he is battling cancer.  Heavy stuff, but what a blessing to be able to pray for others.

I continued to get positive responses from most of the places I stopped:  Snip-N-Clip, two apartment complexes (Commerce Gardens and Porter Commons), the Medical Center, and the YMCA.  As you see, I am naming these businesses because I appreciate their support and we should give them our support if we are able.

Lastly, I went to see my friend, who is the Executive Director of Big Brothers Big Sisters.  She was excited about what we are doing, and will hang a poster plus send out a mass email.  I asked her if I could be praying about anything, and she asked for prayers for her father-in-law, Tom, who is battling liver cancer.  Cancer and family issues seemed to be the most common prayer requests for today.

What a day!  Seven divine appointments in one day and now I’m sitting here in awe wondering if we should have chosen a bigger venue for our dinner after talking to so many people and getting positive responses!  God is so good.  I am pumped and recharged like only God can do.  This weekend, our family is taking a mini vacation to Prairie View Christian Camp, so by Monday I will be ready once again to study and teach.

Besides all of that, I had a few minutes to blog for the first time in awhile.  Of course, tonight I need to get some things done around the house like repairing the mower…  As good as I feel right now, even that will be fun.

May God recharge you today so that you can serve Him with zeal!

Respect

Where do I start?  I’ve had all these things that I’ve wanted to write, but have been so incredibly busy that I haven’t been able to do so.

Last Friday I substitute taught for a class of fourth graders.  I thought it would be easier than the sixth graders that I had a few weeks ago.  WRONG!!!  I’ll be honest – I had a horrible day.  They were extremely disrespectful, rude, and didn’t care.  I won’t go any farther than that.  In fact, I’m trying to forget that day, except what God taught me through it.

On Friday night and Saturday until noon, my wife and I and a couple we’re good friends with went to the Love and Respect Conference.  I was mentally fried after my day at the school, but I was looking forward to the time with my wife, the time with our friends, and to the conference.  By the time we got to the conference, I was much better.  Anyway, Dr. Eggrichs explained how a man’s deepest need is respect and a woman’s deepest need is love.  We are commanded in Ephesians 5 for husbands to love their wives unconditionally and for wives to respect their husbands unconditionally.  God has to command us in that way because it’s not natural.  Respect is a language that men, for the most part, naturally speak, but love is like a foreign language.  We can speak it, but it will take practice.  Love is a language that women, for the most part, naturally speak, but respect is like a foreign language.  Again, you can learn it, but it takes practice.  God commands us to speak the others language, and it isn’t always easy.  He also talked about how even our churches teach love, love, love, but not respect.  For a woman to ask to be loved and to be upset when she’s not being loved, is common and people come to her defense.  On the other hand, if men are upset about not being respected, it is viewed as arrogant and selfish.  There is much more to it than this, but that is the general idea.

So, I got to thinking about my day.  No wonder I was feeling shot down.  I had not been respected.  I feel respected at home, at church, among my friends and peers, etc…, but this was far different than I was used to.  I’m used to the children at church treating me with respect and responding to my authority.  At our Christian school, the children also respect me.  I didn’t think it was too much to ask for respect in the classroom.  In fact, I told them that respect for me, respect for each other, respect for the other teachers, and respect for school property were my expectations.  Later, as I was licking my wounds while sitting through the conference, it dawned on me that if we aren’t teaching this concept in our churches, our society is certainly not teaching it.  Therefore, these young people probably had no concept of what I was saying.  Where would they hear the message of respect?  Men on television (the only men many of them are exposed to) are, for the most part, lazy, bumbling idiots with no morals.  In other words, they aren’t respectable.  Many of the children come from single parent homes where they live with their moms and their dads aren’t involved in their lives.  At school, their teachers are normally women.  At church (if they go), their Sunday School teachers are normally women.  Women don’t naturally speak the “respect language” so where, I ask again, are they going to learn it?  We men need to step up through teaching our own children and mentoring other children about honor and respect.  It is not arrogant.  It is a God-given virtue.

I wish I could write more right now, but I have other things demanding my attention…

As far as our marriage goes, this past weekend was AWESOME, and I hope to write about it soon.

May God give you wisdom and insight as you love and respect your spouse (and others in your lives).