Quality Time

I feel like I scored a major victory this weekend with my second oldest.  While trying to find some time to spend time with a little girl who lost her daddy to cancer a few years ago, I thought it would be best to include one of my daughters who is close to the same age.  I knew with the personality of this particular daughter that it wouldn’t be a problem if we took a friend along for our “Daddy / Daughter” time.  However, I was floored by the results.

I was a little late picking them up from basketball camp and they were already speculating about what we were going to do.  They were sure we were going bowling, and they were excited about that!  I never dreamed these two would have an interest in bowling, but they did.  Therefore, I deviated from my original plans and we went bowling.  It was fun, but I wanted to do something a little more interactive.  We had some time left after that, so we went to the museum.  At our county museum they have a room where kids can roll play and the adults can interact.  They have a little school room, a house with a kitchen, a general store, a teepee, and a boat among other things.  We had so much fun.  I discovered that our little friend has quite a servant heart.  She wanted to do all the “cooking” and kept serving us instead of sitting down to “eat” with us.  Of course, she has too much energy to sit and be served.  It’s amazing what we can learn about children when we take the time to do things like this.

Both girls thanked me numerous times for doing this.  However, after I dropped our friend off, my daughter kept hugging and thanking me throughout the day.  She kept looking for opportunities to do things for me, and would then hug me and say, “I can’t thank you enough daddy for taking us bowling and to the museum today.”  She called it Daddy, Daughter, Friend time, and couldn’t have been more pleased.  I’m still reaping the benefits today – I ate lunch with her and she hugged me and thanked me again.

I’m afraid I’ve been missing the mark with her up to this point, but I finally got it right by speaking her love language:  QUALITY TIME.  It has been easy for me to connect with my oldest daughter because we’re a lot alike.  It’s easy for me to connect with my son because it just comes naturally.  However, I really have to make the effort to connect to my two middle daughters, especially the one I’m writing about.  She has a totally different personality and it is easy for me to miss the mark with her.

Let me encourage you today in what I’ve learned.  It’s important to learn our childrens’ love languages.  What speaks to one child doesn’t speak to another.  They are all different and we need to be students of them in order for them to feel loved.

May God bless your efforts in learning how to speak your childrens’ love languages!

Gracious or Graceless?

My need for a mentor has never been more evident to me than it was yesterday as I talked to mine by phone.  He graciously, without beating it over my head, pointed out some things and made some connections to things to which I’ve been totally blinded.  These are things that could have some serious implications in the future if not corrected.  These are things that are affecting my relationship with God and with those around me.

God has been teaching me some things in my time with him, and then He used my mentor’s wisdom to really bring it together.  I have a critical spirit, and I know that about myself.  I just didn’t realize how bad it was and to what degree it was being manifested in my life.  My mentor told me yesterday that often he is critical of others in areas where he is weak in order to make himself look and feel better.  It’s a thing he does out of pride to cover his weakness, so others won’t see it and think more highly of him.  At first, I didn’t think it applied to me.  WRONG!!!  He hit the nail on the head.  In fact, I’m pretty sure he saw it in me, but was gracious not to come out and say it.  Instead, he said it in such a way that made me think on it for 24 hours.

I believe my critical spirit and attitude has hurt my relationship with my children and with some people in our church, particularly the other staff and leadership.  It mostly happens with those I have the highest expectations of.  It has caused me to be highly frustrated and I’ve allowed it to steal my joy in parenting and in ministry to a degree.  I’m sure it has actually come out in my blog posts, but I’ve been blinded to it.  While my intention was to make this blog a place where people can come for encouragement, I’m not sure that’s what my readers always find.

My mentor pointed out the fact that I ”might be” taking on responsibilities that aren’t mine to take on.  I have taken up battles that are not mine to fight, especially alone.  With this, I often feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.  I take on so much responsibility that I have no down time.  Then, I begin to get frustrated and tired, and then begin to get critical of others when they aren’t stepping up and taking responsibility the way I think they should.  I know this has been evident in my blog posts because I have been especially critical of fathers who aren’t stepping up.  I have taken on a crusade, of sorts, to single handedly end fatherlessness and defend the widow and the orphan.  I have even been applauded by others for my efforts, which feeds this insanity and encourages me to keep on fighting the battle.  While on the surface, all this may seem valiant, it is really arrogant and prideful.  I’m trying to be the savior.  Not only am I trying to play the role of God in convicting people of their actions or lack thereof in “my battle”, I am also being so arrogant as to think I can win this battle alone.   The result – fatigue, discouragement, finger pointing, lack of joy, etc…  Then, I come across as very graceless rather than loving.  The truth is, my negativity will never bring out the positive in others, so I’m really defeating my purpose and fighting against the tide. 

The thing that hurts the most is that I know I’ve been very critical toward my children.  I’ve been trying to convict their hearts so much that the encouragement and “truth in love” part hasn’t been so evident.  I’ve come across as very graceless.  I know I’ve touched on this before in a previous post about never being able to please my stepdad and how that hurt me.  And, I know I’ve said that I don’t want to hurt my children in that way.  However, I’m afraid I have been, with comments like: “you know better than that” and “what were you thinking” and “don’t you know there’s a billion starving children in this world”.  There’s not much room for mistakes and learning.  While it hurts to admit that, I believe it is the first step in God changing my heart.  He’s done it before in other areas where I’ve been blinded and weak, and I know He’ll do it again when I humbly seek Him.

Don’t get me wrong.  I do have a good relationship with my children and we have some good times together.  However, I can see where my critical spirit will have some incredible implications for the future and needs to be taken care of now, while they are still young.

I see now that God has been gently and methodically teaching me in recent months so that I was ready for my mentor to help put the pieces together yesterday.  I’m thankful God and Dean have been more gentle and full of grace toward me than I’ve been toward others.  God could not have taught me through a better person because He knows I’ll listen to him, even though it took  a little time for it to sink in.

I don’t know if all this makes sense to anyone else, but it has never been more clear to me.  Please pray that God will change my heart and that His grace will shine through me toward others.  Please pray that God will also continue to point out my blindspots as I grow.

May God’s grace be evident in us all.

Hold Me, Daddy

Well, last night was very interesting around our house.  I already explained yesterday that I was in a very solemn mood after my time at the hospital.  When I got home, my two youngest daughters were way out of sorts.  One had her palate expander removed and braces put on earlier in the day, so she wasn’t feeling too good.  The other just wasn’t feeling well, anyway, but got mad at me and exploded.  My wife and oldest daughter had basketball practice for awhile.  So… I was left at home with a wilting rose, a stick of dynamite and a two foot tornado.  Now that’s a combination.  Disclaimer:  I realize that my wife is often left in this situation, so I’m not looking for pity or sympathy.  I’m just stating the facts…

I knew right away that this wasn’t going to be a normal evening.  I told you yesterday that I was going to go home, start a fire, hold my children, thank God for them, and pray for the family in mourning.  Well, that’s pretty much all that got accomplished, and that’s okay.  My wife and 10 year old fixed a wonderful dinner of chicken and dumplings and took off for practice.  Somehow, during supper, everything began to fall apart… 

We have our ministers’ open houses on Sunday, so I really needed to help my wife get some things done around the house.  However, this task-oriented, to-do-list-kind-of-guy couldn’t pull it all together to get anything done.  I think I put a few dishes away and managed to get the leftovers put in the fridge between tending the fire, consoling, breaking up fights and getting my son out of stuff.  I’ll spare you anymore details…

Basically, I ended up holding my little wilted rose for awhile first.  She was crying and crying.  As I held her, I thanked God for her and prayed.  Eventually, she was much better.  Later, my little stick of dynamite had been diffused and just wanted to be held.  Though it was now past her bedtime, I held her for awhile, thanked God for her and again prayed.  By that point, my wife and oldest daughter had returned.

My oldest had lots of questions about the baby and what was wrong with him.  She asked questions about how the parents were doing and if I saw the baby when I was there.  She wanted to know where he was when I saw him.  When I told her that his parents were taking turns holding him, she got emotional.  I could tell this was tearing her up inside and she needed to talk about it.  She was clingy and just wouldn’t go to bed.  My wife held her and between the two of us we tried to answer her questions.  Somehow, this even lead into conversations about abortion and adoption.  Lastly, as I tucked her in, she asked where his body was now.  I told her it was at the funeral home, which opened up a whole new set of questions…  I couldn’t end the night there, so we talked about while his body is there, his spirit is in Heaven with Jesus.  He is in a place where there is no sin, no pain, no suffering.  She got to bed late, but it was a beautiful conversation.  She’s growing up on me and wants answers to many of life’s questions.  I am so glad we are there to answer those questions.  As I turned off her light, I thanked God for her, and prayed.

Oh, about my little tornado…  While my wife was holding our oldest and we were answering questions, our little tornado fell asleep on my shoulder.  I held him, thanked God for him, prayed, and laid him in his bed.  He woke up twice during the night, but you know…

When the last child was tucked in, I went downstairs.  The fire was beginning to burn down, and I held my wife.  We had a good talk about what is important and cherishing every moment we have.  There were some teary moments, but that’s just the kind of day it was.  I held her, thanked God for her, and prayed one last time for the baby’s family.

May our loving Heavenly Father hold you in His arms today.

Unconditional Love

I met my goal and had the assigned portion of the Declaration of Independence memorized.  So, yesterday, I went to my daughter’s class to say it (I made sure it was okay with her teacher, the other student’s, and especially her, first).  My name was thrown ”into the hat” along with the other names, and soon I was called to do the recitation in front of the class.  I speak and teach all the time, so I really don’t know what happened.  I had to stop and think several times as I recited it.  I had those old “school kid” feelings of nervousness.  Worse than that, my fear of failure kicked in.  I started beating myself up inside for not saying it perfectly.  I eventually made it through.  The teacher said I only got one word wrong, but I was not happy with how many times I had to stop to think.  Everyone was gracious, especially my daughter.  She said, “Daddy, that was really good for just starting yesterday…”  It’s good to know she still loves me, and that I didn’t embarrass her in front of the class.  Looking back, it was probably good for her to see me struggle through something like that. 

As for her, she said it word perfectly with barely a glitch.  I was so pleased for her.  She has an amazing memory, and it was cool for me to be able to be there while she said it.  She even gave me a hug after she said it.  Yes, in front of her class.   I told her and I’m sure she could see on my face how happy I was for her.  Of course, she knows my love for her is not based on her performance, but we all enjoy doing well.

It was a humbling day for me, and that’s okay.  It will be a great excuse to take her out for ice cream.  I think I learned more from this exercise than she did.

In all of this, I was reminded of my childhood.  My relationship with my mom was based on unconditional love.  I never doubted for one moment that she loved me.  She is one of the kindest and most gentle people on the face of the earth.  She and I still have a great relationship. 

On the other hand, my relationship with my stepdad was based on performance.  At least, I saw it that way.  When I would do well in school, he was pleased.  I hated to make him mad or upset because it could last for days.  I hated doing something to get in trouble because he had a board and knew how to swing it.  However, I learned how to avoid this by working really hard and being a “good boy”.  I think this was the birth of my people-pleasing and perfectionist tendencies.  I studied and studied and studied when I was in high school and when I was in college.  Why?  A lot of it was to please him.  I needed his affirmation and that’s how I got it.  Yes, my hard work paid off as I earned academic honors.  However, the pressure was so high that I often wondered what it was all for.  I didn’t have many friends in high school.  I was too busy studying or mowing yards to have strong friendships.  I don’t keep up with any of the people that I grew up with.  After I left home, I really didn’t want to have anything to do with him, but had to because of mom.  Once they divorced, the ties were soon broken, and I wasn’t heartbroken.  I no longer felt like I had to perform.  I do want to say for those who are new to my blog or who haven’t read the particular post about my stepdad that we have reconciled, and we talk from time to time.  He did a lot of good things for me that I only in the last few years have realized. 

I don’t want my children to have these kinds of pressures.  Yes, I want them to do their best, but I never want them to think that my love is contingent upon their performance.  They need to know that their Daddy loves them no matter what.

That’s the way it is with God, too, and I give credit to my mentor, Dean Trune, for helping me understand this.  God loves us more than we can imagine, and it’s not based on our performance.  If we just try to keep performing for God, the result is lukewarm religion.  If we are just trying to follow the rules to keep God from “getting angry”, we don’t understand His love.  We will live in fear that if we mess up, we will feel His wrath.  In this case, our hearts won’t be in it.   On the other hand, if we have a passion for God and a healthy, reverent fear of Him (Proverbs 9:10) because of Who He is, we will live out our faith through obedience.  We won’t be trying to perform for God to please Him, we will be trusting and obeying Him because we love Him.  This will bring Him glory.  There is a huge difference there!

Without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6).  Faith without works is dead (James 2:26).  Fruitfulness comes from abiding in Christ (John 15:5).  So, it all starts with our relationship with God.  If we want to have abundant and lasting fruit, we must abide in Christ and He in us.  The relationship with God comes first, not the fruitfulness.  Our relationship with Him will build our faith because we learn more and more about who He is.  This faith pleases God…  Wow, that’s a cycle I want to be on!

May all of our relationships be based on love, not performance!

The Challenge

After my “stellar” performance the other day with my oldest daughter that caused her to shut down instead of encouraging her to continue memorizing the assigned section of the Declaration of Independence, I challenged her to see which one of us could learn it the best.  I have no idea what I was thinking – I was desperate to fix what I had just done.  I told her that whoever learns it with the fewest mistakes would buy the other ice cream.  At the time, she was so upset that she wasn’t ready to take me up on the challenge, which is very unlike her.  Well, she came up to me on Saturday in the middle of all my projects and says, “I accept your challenge.” 

Sure, with only a few days left to practice…  At first, I tried to give her the excuse that I no longer had time to prepare, etc.  Then, I realized I was not setting a good example.  I am always telling my children not to say, “I can’t,” yet in not so many words I was saying “I can’t.”  So I quit with the excuses and said, “okay you’re on.” 

Today, I briefly got the attitiude, after not having much time to study, that it would just be easier to buy the ice cream.  Once again, HORRIBLE EXAMPLE.  Fortunately, this time it was just an internal thought and battle.  Now, I am resolved to memorize it before tomorrow.  I might even say it to her teacher to make it fair…  I was told by my wife that she has it down perfectly.  The pressure is on.  However, my strong will and determination has kicked in and I’m going to memorize it if it takes me all night.  Not to beat her, mind you, but to back up my words with action.  I think I need to practice what I preached to set the example.  I hope we both get it perfect – we’ll celebrate with taking the whole family for ice cream.

May God bless all of us parents with wisdom!

Veteran’s Day

The day is almost over, but I just wanted to take a moment to thank our veterans for their sacrifice.  Most of us live in comfort and security, and our veterans and those currently serving are largely to thank for this.  Sacrifice is not a word we like to hear in America, and I believe this is one of the reasons we are in the economic predicament we are in right now.  However, sacrifice is the lifestyle of a soldier.  I have no idea what it is like to fight in a war.  I know I don’t have what it takes.  However, I grew up with a hero, and I respect and honor those brave soldiers who have made it possible for me to enjoy freedom and security.  There is a price that has been paid and continues to be paid for our freedom, and I’m not talking about dollars, but human lives.

I wrote about my hero (Grandpa) awhile back.  He fought in WWII, and was a POW.  He was injured when his tank was blown up.  He was thrown in a barn full of dead people, crawled out, and was captured by the Nazis.  He was forced to march 26 days with shrapnel in his head and no medical attention.  At best, he got half of a raw potato each day to eat, and lost over 100 lbs.  By the grace of God he was rescued and finally received the medical attention he needed.  He has battled health issues related to the war since that time.  He made the sacrifice, and I have never heard him complain.  He understood that there was a higher purpose than self.  He fought for the greater good.  No wonder he is part of what is known as the “Greatest Generation.”  Thank you, Grandpa.  Thank you, veterans for your sacrifice.

Bear with me, this story does have a point:  Last night, I was probably a little too overbearing with my oldest daughter.  My patriotism and work ethic combined to make an explosive combination.  She asked the question, “Why do I have to memorize the Declaration of Independence?  It’s not something I’m going to have to know to make it through life.” (or something to that effect).  Really, what I was trying to do was nip the attitude in the bud.  This is the kind of attitude that keeps people from succeeding in life.  It’s the kind of attitude that keeps people from realizing their dreams because they aren’t willing to do what it takes to succeed.  It is the kind of attitude that keeps people from completing (or even starting) college because they have to take classes that don’t pertain to their chosen major or career path.  I understand.  When I was in college, I didn’t see any point in a meat science major having to take Fine Arts.  However, it was a step I had to take if I wanted to achieve the goal I had set of graduating and going on to get a good job.  I wasn’t going to let anything stand in the way of me and my dream.  I told her that if she ever wants to achieve her goal of becoming a veterinarian, she would have to learn things along the way that might not seem important at the time.  Many times, the difference between those who succeed in achieving their goals and those who don’t is perseverance and willpower to do those things no one else wants to do.  Everything we learn prepares us for the next thing.  It is part of the training, whether we will ever “use it” again or not.  Often, even God uses things that don’t really make sense at the time to teach us valuable character lessons that last a lifetime.  I told her it was a choice she would have to make.

Well, that was already pretty heavy stuff for a ten year old, and I should have stopped there  However, I found myself going into a patriotic speech about how brave men and women have fought for the freedoms we have and how if her generation doesn’t learn the foundations of our freedoms, such as the Declaration of Independence, our country will go down the tubes.  I even went into how Grandpa had nearly given his life for the freedom we enjoy.  I know it was all too much.  My wife gave me that look that it was too much.  In fact, when I asked her if it was too much, she only smiled.  What I was hoping would be a motivational, charge the troops kind of a speech failed.  Like I said my patriotism and work ethic combined to make an explosive combination.  She has until Tuesday to learn it, so I’ll come up with a better motivational approach or just leave it to my wife…  

My patriotism for our country and my respect for our soldiers runs deep.  I don’t believe in American pride because I think pride has been a pitfall for so many.  Pride doesn’t make sacrifices.  Pride looks out for self.  God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the  humble.  I believe in loyalty to God and country, and I believe many soldiers who have gone before us exemplify this attitude.  I long to see the turning to God, support for our troops and patriotism that we saw in the aftermath of September 11, 2001… 

Well, this is longer than I expected and I went on a couple of bunny trails, but I hope it all fits in somehow…

May God bless our soldiers, both past and present, who have paid the price for our freedom!

Reflections From “The Fair”

Yesterday was the last day of the Kansas State Fair.  Our family enjoys the fair each year.  We usually set aside one day to see the exhibits and the animals and one day to do the rides.  This year was a little tricky because of all the rain, but it all worked out.  Having a degree in animal science, I especially enjoy going through the barns, telling my children about the different breeds of animals, etc…  My son really enjoys when we make animal sounds together.  I’ve been told I can make a life-like “moo.”  Must come from spending so much time around cattle in college.  One of our family favorites in the past has been the “birthing center,” although this year they only had one cow.  It was very disappointing, as they usually have 4 or 5 dairy cows and about the same number of sows.  My children have enjoyed petting the piglets and calves in the past, but didn’t get to do that this year.  The petting zoo made up for it though, as they got to pet and feed a zebra, camel, deer, giraffe, etc…  My personal favorite is seeing the Watusi cattle.  I’m just amazed at their huge horns.  I even talked to one of the breeders for a few minutes and felt led to ask him if I could be praying about anything for him.  He’ll be traveling a lot, so he asked for prayers about that.  Anyway, as far as I’m concerned, you can keep the “Midway” and all the rip off games, crowds, high priced junk food, and rides that make me sick.  I’ll stick to the country side of the fair.  Boots, Wranglers, men whose handshake is like gripping a brick covered in leather, big trucks, animal smells, stepping in “stuff”- there’s just nothing like it.   Of course, in saying that, I’ll have to say that one of my fair highlights this year was when my oldest daughter gave up the chance of riding another ride by herself in order for us to ride one together.  She only had two tickets left, and she asked me to ride one with her.  We rode ”The Blizzard,” which I was more familiar with being called the “Himalaya.”  Anyway, it goes around and around up and down really fast forwards then backwards to the sound of loud music.  Just to get her to laughing, I was putting my hands up in the air, yelling “WHOOOO” and basically acting like a goof.  It will make for good memories…   

On another note, my wife and I had talked about seeing if we could work at the fair to help make a little extra money, but didn’t pursue it.  Well, on Tuesday I got a call from a friend who had a friend who had a friend…  To make a long story short, we were offered the opportunity to work for one of the vendors.  My prayer was that it would not just be about making extra money, but that we would be able to encourage someone through it.  Not only did God bless us with the opportunity to work with a really nice Christian couple, but I met their son who trains leaders in the U.S. and in foreign countries in youth ministry.  I encouraged him by adding him to my regular weekly prayer list.  I also worked the first day with a single mom and was able to share with her about our ministry.  God is so good.  We ended up making enough to cover our September budget, and met some great people while doing it.

I worked from 3:00 to 11:00 p.m. on Saturday.  Let me just say that I’m fascinated with “people watching.”  I especially enjoy observing how parents interact with their children and how couples interact.  At the fair, there are so many different people from all walks of life.  For instance, there was the “filthy rich guy” who wouldn’t spring the extra couple of bucks for a lemonade (according to the owner), and then there was the guy who came back twice to buy pretzels and cheese for his two daughters.  When he was there the second time, I heard one of his daughters say, “Daddy, can you help me…”  To my utter dismay and disgust, he looked at her and said, “Where were you when I needed help in ‘nam?”  Seriously???  The little girl was probably 6 years old and had no clue what he was saying, just that it was mean spirited and she didn’t get the help she was asking for.  I won’t tell you the fleshly thoughts that went through my mind about what I would like to do to him, but it had to do with his head and the cast iron sandwich grill sitting next to me.  Forgive me, I was raised around good ol’ country justice…  I have since said a prayer that God would forgive me for my attitude toward him and that he would send someone into this man’s life who can mentor him.  Then, there was the boy who accidently backed up and stepped on his dad’s toe.  His dad lashed out at him, and while I couldn’t hear what he was saying, the boy’s face told the story.  He looked beaten down and belittled, and I could tell this wasn’t the first time.  Of course, on the other side of the spectrum, you could tell the children who got everything they wanted and didn’t have to do anything themselves, which isn’t healthy, either.  I saw lots of young men (dare I use that word??) who had no clue how to love and respect the young ladies (dare I use that word, too??) they were with.  I could see in their eyes and by their actions what was on their mind, and it wasn’t valuing their date.  It didn’t help that their dates were wearing next to nothing in many cases.  On both sides, I believe it’s another tragic result of the lack of godly fathering or quite possibly no fathering at all:  boys who haven’t been taught by their fathers how to treat a lady and girls who will do anything for attention.  Believe me, I’ve been there.  When my wife and I first started dating, I didn’t have a clue, either.  I often pray for my children’s future spouses because they are hopefully in training right now, and although I don’t know them, I believe God does.  I did see couples and families who seemed to be happy to be together.  In fact, I saw an older couple who looked to be as much in love today as ever.  I love to see that.  Makes me want to follow them around and learn, maybe even ask them for an interview.  I’m glad that my wife is my best friend and that we enjoy being together.  In fact, she sent me an email earlier today that said “Thanks for being my best friend.”  You don’t know what that does to my heart to hear her say that.  I once had a wise math teacher in seventh grade who said his wife enjoyed when he told her that he loved her, but REALLY appreciated when he said, “I like you.”  Well, you can see how long that has stuck with me.  And, while I don’t get it right all the time and I say or do things that I later regret, especially with my children, I’m thankful to God for His amazing grace in our weaknesses.  I want to do better at being a student of my wife and my children so I will know how to love them better.  I will put forth my honest effort, and have faith that God will bless it when I am putting Him first.  I’m thankful that Jesus is at the center of our marriage and our home.

May God bless your family today!

Evening With My Children

I had one of the most peaceful evenings with my children yesterday.  I just thought I would share a few things.  My wife got supper started (awesome meatloaf), and then went to a 6:00 meeting.  I was determined that the children would be in bed on time, so I focused totally on what it would take to make that happen.  I am coming to the realization that we can’t try to fit a lot of extra things into the evening and still get them to bed on time.  I had the first one (our youngest daughter) in bed by 8:10 and we read a story.  She picked the story out, which was a storybook version of the angels visiting the shepherds in the field to tell them that the Savior had been born.  She seemed to love having me to herself to read together.  After the story, she said, “That’s a good way to end the day, right Daddy?”  It certainly was.  Then she said her prayers.  The Noah’s Ark exercise that we did yesterday in school must’ve had an impact on her because in her prayers she said something like, “help us to remember just how big that boat was and keep it in our hearts…”  I think there is something there we can all learn from.  Of course, she got up a couple more times after I tucked her in, but in bed close to on time was progress.

Then, it was our second grader’s turn.  She wanted to crawl up in the recliner and have me read a book about a horse to her.  She is a good reader, but she still enjoys having me read to her.  She also enjoyed the somewhat one-on-one time.  My son was kind of in the middle of things by then and wanted me to read to him, too.  He doesn’t understand the concept of “in a few minutes” yet.  Anyway, after reading we had a prayer.  She is probably our most focused and fervent “pray-ers.”  Of course, sometimes, they go on for awhile…  She was in bed ontime – 8:30!

I then looked at our fourth grader and said, “So, do you want me to read to you, too?”  I thought she was going to fall out of the chair giggling.  “Okay, so is there something you would like to talk about before going to bed?”, I asked.  She wanted to talk about salvation and being baptized.  We had a great conversation before she went to bed at 9:05 – only 5 minutes late YAHOO!  Soon, I am going to take her on a one-on-one prayer ride so we can really have a focused talk about spiritual things and life, in general.  For me, there is nothing like talking about spiritual things while enjoying God’s creation.  I can’t believe she will be 10 at the end of the month.  Unfortunately, I think the hormones are beginning to kick in, though.  Last night after we talked, she cuddled up with me for a few minutes, but this morning she was mad at the world because she “couldn’t find anything to wear”.  She went into the school and wouldn’t look at or talk to me.  I think the young lady and the child are having a battle within her.  Please pray for us because all three of the girls will be teenagers at the same time.  Yes, it’s still a few years away, but if this is a sign of things to come, it’s never too early to start praying.

My son had a late nap, so I went ahead and cleaned up the kitchen before starting his bedtime routine.  It was a little bit difficult to keep him quiet, but we made it through.  When I had him ready for bed, he said, “Tell me ’bout a stoey, Daddy.”  Wow, how cool is that!?  I asked him what kind of a story he wanted and he said, ” ’bout the ocean.”  I had been helping our oldest daughter study history, and they are studying the explorers.  Perfect!  I told him about Columbus, Juan Ponce de Leon, Vasco de Gama, etc… and how they sailed the oceans to find new lands.  He snuggled in and didn’t even ask for another “stoey”.  History must have the same affect on him as it did me in school…   Of course, I love learning about history now!

Now, you must be thinking – “Wow, that must’ve been a long meeting that your wife attended.”  I was thinking the same thing.  The meeting was over at 8:00 and she visited with a friend for awhile.  I think she just needed some time away.

May God bless you with quality time with your children!

Walking With God

I have the priviledge of teaching chapel two mornings a week at the school that is part of our church.  The children come to school three days per week and then homeschool the other two days.  All three of my girls attend the school, and it works great for our family.  It’s pretty cool to walk down the hall and have lunch with them most days. 

To go along with the Olympics, our theme passage for this school year is Hebrews 12:1-3 – “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”  The great cloud of witnesses the writer is talking about is those listed in Hebrews 11.  So, I have decided to talk about these Bible heroes and figure out what each one did that was pleasing to God.  By doing this, we are compiling a list of attributes and virtues that we can model in our lives, if we want to become “gold medal” Christians.

Today, we talked about Enoch.  Not many words are said in the Bible about Enoch.  However, what is said is powerful.  At first glance, you might think that he was shortchanged.  His father, Jared, lived 962 years and his son, Methuselah, holds the record for years lived at 969 years.  So sandwiched between the two guys who lived longer than anyone else on record is Enoch with a measly 365 years.  In fact, that’s the shortest amount of time listed in Genesis 5!  He must have really done something wrong, huh?  Nope.  In fact, just the opposite.  Instead of just saying Enoch lived…, the Bible says Enoch walked with God…  It says it not once but twice in this little passage of Scripture.  Verse 24 says, “Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.”  Hebrews 11:5 says, “By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away.  For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God.”  Verse 11:6 goes on to say, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.”  Enoch must have been a man of great faith who walked with God, earnestly seeking Him.  He was rewarded by not experiencing death and being removed from this earth to be with God!!  Wow, that gives me chills.  I want to walk with God like that!  I want to live out the kind of faith that pleases God.  Walking with God here indicates that Enoch had fellowship with God and lived a life of obedience.  In God’s Word, we are reminded over and over to walk in His ways.  I think it can be summed up in Deuteronomy 10:12-13:  “Now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require from you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and love Him, and to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the Lord’s commandments and His statutes which I am commanding today for your good.”

As I was studying this concept further, I came across Proverbs 20:7, “A righteous man who walks in his integrity— How blessed are his sons after him.” Let me leave you with this thought: Enoch is listed in the geneology of David, a man after God’s own heart, and of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, God’s one and only Son!  What kind of legacy are we going to leave behind?  Are we walking in close fellowship with God, loving Him, listening to Him and obeying His commandments, and serving Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength?

May we all take this to heart and walk with God!

More on Mentoring

Wow, it was another productive weekend.  My friends returned Saturday to help, and now the structural repairs to the deck are almost finished.  I’m going to take some time off Wednesday because that’s the day they can come back for the remaining repairs.  I have really enjoyed working with these guys.  My wife cooked us some hamburgers and we all sat around and visited during lunch.  There is some real bonding that occurs when you work with guys like this.  I have been blessed by their help, by their companionship, and by what I have learned.  Working with these men actually gave me the confidence to go out on my own and do some work on the deck last night.  I got out the Skil saw, measured and cut some boards and installed them under each of the steps for support.  It worked great, and it felt good to be able to do something like that.  Mentoring can be a great thing at any age.

To top it off, all of my children were wanting to “help” last night.  The girls would help for a few minutes and then would be off doing other things.  However, my son never ventured off too far.  He’s in a stage where he wants to do everything I’m doing.  If I’m mowing, he’s pushing his little mower all over the yard with me.  My wife gave him a small ball-peen hammer that had once been my great uncle’s, and he thought he was “the man.”  I gave him several scrap pieces of wood to bang around on.  I had to really watch him that he didn’t bang on other stuff.  He kept saying, “I help you, Daddy.”  Of course, the other thing he kept saying was, “where’s my hammer?”  It runs in the family…  Throughout this project, I often look down and find him standing just like me or like one of the guys who has been helping us or doing something that we are doing.  Last Saturday, I was afraid he was getting in the way, and I didn’t want him annoying the other guys.  I got onto him one time for getting in the middle of stuff and told him to go play on the swing-set.  The wise gentlemen who has orchestrated most of the repairs said, “Don’t discourage him.”  I’m still holding onto those words as golden nuggets.  I want to encourage my children to be helpful, even when it seems like they are “more of a hindrance than help.”  Oh, the things we can learn from those who have been there.  I think my son and I both have benefitted from having these friends helping us.  I need to learn to be more patient and allow for the inconvenience of having him help.

May God bless you today!