No More Monah

Yes, it has been a long time since I have posted, but for some reason I am inspired to post tonight.  If you have known me for any amount of time, you know how passionate I am about standing in the gap for the fatherless.  For a long time, I have said that fatherlessness is the single most critical social issue of our day.  It is at the root of so many problems.  Yet, I have been running and saying, “I can’t be the one God is calling” when it comes to leading a ministry to dads at the Open Door Pregnancy Care Center.  Yes, I have been a cross between Moses and Jonah…Monah

About a year and a half ago our staff and elders studied the book of Nehemiah and asked God where the gaps are in our city.  Soon after we began to ask God that question, I got a call from a good friend who is the Director of the Open Door Pregnancy Care Center talking about an opportunity to start a men’s ministry.  I was all for it and still am, but I didn’t think I was the one to get it going because of my lack of administration skills.  I thought I would provide mentoring and counseling, but not overall leadership.  Last week, I read through a journal that I started about 5 years ago called “Daring to Dream,” and it all of a sudden hit me that God is calling me and I need to stop running and say, “Here I am Lord, use me!”  He doesn’t call me because of me, but in spite of me.

Since that moment last week, I have seen so many signs that tell me to GO.  This ministry is so foundational to the issue of fatherlessness.  We can mentor these young men and help them be good dads, thus influencing the culture for generations to come.  When men are the spiritual leaders in their homes and when they reject passivity, accept responsibility, lead courageously, and expect God’s greater reward (Men’s Fraternity definition of manhood), amazing things will happen.  Marriage and parent / child relationships will be transformed.  There will be a drastic reduction of teen pregnancies and abortions, the prison population will be reduced, drug use will go down, the divorce rate will plummet, and the list goes on and on.  Dads, we really do make a difference.

So, I’m all in.  No more running, no more excuses.  God called me into ministry without a Bible college degree – I guess He can call me into this area of leadership without the gift of administration.  This just makes me rely on Him even more, and that’s a good thing.  He will send others with the gifts I don’t have.  He has given me the vision and passion and I just obey.  This will be for the long haul, not overnight.  No microwave ministry here – no jet starts or quick minutes.  This is the crockpot – lots of time with low heat.  We are going to plant oak trees, which are enjoyed by generations to come, not weeds that sprout overnight and cause problems.

One more thing…  It hit me tonight that fatherlessness is not the issue – it is daddylessness.  There are lots of fathers, but far too few daddies. I am seeing God moving in the hearts of men like I’ve never seen before.  It is nothing short of phenomenal – an answer to prayer!  I want to be a part of this.

No more Monah…  I want to be like Caleb, who followed God wholeheartedly and took the high ground.

For those of you who may be concerned about other ministries.  No worries.  I will still continue to fight the battle on other fronts – spending time with kids who don’t have dads around, coming alongside single parent families, family counseling, etc…  This is just a new front to fight the battle on!

May God show us the way and give us His wisdom because it’s all for His glory!!

Who’s with me??

War Against Fatherlessness

On this VERY rare occasion that I could not sleep, I have been up spending some quiet time with the Lord.  I can hear the heavy breathing of at least a couple of our children, a clock ticking, and the sound of the heater coming on from time to time.  But, otherwise, the house is quiet and peaceful.  At this time of the morning, there are no interruptions and there is no rush to be anywhere.

I have even more things than usual on my mind right now, and this has been some good time of prayer and listening.  There are two things especially on my heart right now to be praying about – hurting or broken marriages and boys (and men, for that matter) from single parent homes dealing with anger.

I believe God has called me to the battlefield in order to fight for the fatherless and to help prevent fatherlessness through spiritual coaching, mentoring and marriage counseling.  I must abide in Him for strength and wisdom.  Apart from God, I can do nothing, but I will be fruitful if I abide in Him.  He has given me His Holy Spirit as a Counselor, to teach me and lead me in all things, and I’m crying out to Him right now.

There are so many fronts to this battle, that it is overwhelming  to think about.  However, what the Lord calls us to, He will provide for if we seek Him.  I don’t want the Lord to say, as He did in the book of Ezekiel, that He looked all around for someone who would build up the wall and stand in the gap but could find no one.

I see some great things happening in our church and community, but I also see families being destroyed by the enemy at an alarming rate.  One fallout of this raging war against the family is angry children, especially boys.  I see it almost 100% of the time in one form or another.

However, we must take courage.  The battle is the Lord’s, and we must be faithful by joining Him and doing our part to build up the wall and stand in the gap for our own families first and then others.

Let’s stand together in prayer and see where God leads us in this battle!  May the Lord bless you and keep you!

Doing What I’m Called To Do!

I really have way too much to do to be blogging, but I feel like I need to do it.  I’ll catch up on other stuff later…

God is so amazing.  He has brought me into a career that totally fits the way He made me.  And, He is continuing to grow and develop me in my career and purpose.  My part has been to listen and obey.  I’m sure I don’t always get it right, but I’m trying.  I just want to continue to be clay in the Potter’s hand to be molded into the man He has created me to be.  Over the past week, I have had a couple of friends who have told me that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, which is a great encouragement.

As I look back over the week, I am so amazed at what God has done.  I have been able to teach a couple of chapel lessons on abiding in Christ through spending time in God’s Word.  I have been able to have lunch with my kids and with two kids from church, who are a part of our ministry to single parent families.  I have been able to deliver a bed and dresser donated by generous church members to a very grateful lady who needed them.  While there, I got hugs from three girls who are also from a single parent home and was able to have a prayer with them.  It was so awesome.  I have had seven counseling / coaching / encouragement sessions with various people and families this week.  After taking the “Servants by Design” test, it was obvious that counseling and mentoring are definitely part of my God-given design.  One family in particular that I met with this week is putting God first and He is moving through their family in an amazing way.  They are seeking where God wants each of them to serve.  I had a great talk with my mentor today, who always encourages me.  I also had the privilege to read to three different classes at one of our local elementary classes.  I absolutely love to do that because I can use different voices and help the kids enjoy books.  Not to mention, I give their teachers a little break.  I also went with three other guys to a training in Wichita called “Armor Up.”  I had a wonderful time with these guys.  We are exploring how we can start a ministry to the men who come into our local pregnancy care center.  I am so excited about this opportunity.  Tomorrow night we will get together with the families from our single parent family ministry, then Saturday I will meet with our local outreach team to talk about upcoming outreach events, such as a game feed, and on Sunday we will have session fourteen of Men’s Fraternity: The Great Adventure, where we will begin to talk about our “unique designs.”

Besides all that, I’ve had some wonderful early morning times with God, I’m still on track with Bible memory and my daily read-through-the-Bible plan, and I’ve had some good time with my family this week.  In fact, tonight, we’re going to have a family night.  Look out Wii, here we come.

I’ll have to admit, after saying all that, that I have been a bit stressed the past few days with the pace of life and everything on my to-do list.  However, I decided to take a few minutes and reflect on all the good that God is doing in me, around me, and through me.  I can’t help but be excited.

It’s been a God week, and I pray the same for you!  May God’s blessings rain down upon each of you!

Spiritual Retreat

It is a beautiful day.  The rain has cleared and the sun is shining.  It was a perfect day for my spiritual retreat.  I rode my bike down the Jim Martinez Sunflower Trail.  I have a couple of favorite spots by the Arkansas River where I stop to spend time with God.  I had some great time of seeking God and listening.

Awhile back, during another spiritual retreat day, I asked God what His vision for my life was.  I believe that answer is becoming more and more clear as I have been spending time seeking Him and listening.  As I have been reading through the book of Nehemiah, I sense an urging to become a repairer of the breach that has taken place in families.  This includes leading men to be better spiritual leaders, husbands and fathers, helping people to grow spiritually and teaching them how to pursue God (after all, His Holy Spirit is our “in-house” Counselor!), helping strengthen marriages and families, and by standing in the gap for single parent families.  I’m not so arrogant as to think I’m perfect and can do all of this myself or in my own strength.  In fact, the whole thought of it kind of overwhelms me.  However, I am available for however God wants to use me.

I believe that all of the ministries that I’m responsible for can be aligned under this key vision of building the wall and repairing the breaches that are happening in families.  God is teaching me a lot about leadership, which will be crucial as I lead teams in making this happen.  He is also leading me toward getting more training in couseling.  My heart is wide open to His wisdom and leading.  Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.

May God bless your family!

Nehemiah 4 – The Original Braveheart??

It is another beautiful, windless morning in Kansas, and I’m getting spoiled.  Yesterday, I finally put together an outdoor gazebo that we’ve had in the box for 2 1/2 years.  Soon after we bought it, we moved and it has been in the original box in the garage since then.  Since we had a cookout last night, I was motivated to go ahead and put it up.  Originally, we were waiting for the deck to be totally completed, but we decided it would be better on the patio because of the wind protection.  So… now I have a great new place to sit outside and spend time with God without worrying about being carried off by the monster mosquitoes!  By the way (since you’ve heard of my project woes before…), the instructions for the gazebo recommended three adults to put it together.  I put it mostly together by myself, with my kids helping hand me tools and then my wife helping me put the final touches on it so it would be ready for the cookout.  I was pumped.

Okay, on to my favorite chapter of Nehemiah, so far: Chapter 4.  Every man needs to read this chapter.  Actually, I think every man needs to read this book of the Bible.  Have you ever seen the movie Braveheart?  Well, in this chapter, Nehemiah reminds me of William Wallace.  In my vivid imagination, I could just hear him yelling, FREEDOM!!!

It seems that the opposition had become more aware that these people mean business and were going to build this wall.  So, they decided to try to demoralize the builders by telling them that they were just feeble Jews trying to revive a pile of rubble and that their wall wouldn’t even stand up to a fox jumping on it.  In Hans and Franz terms, “You’re just a bunch of girly men playing with your little rocks.  One look at our muscles and your wall will fall down…” Sorry, bad humor.

So, what did Nehemiah do?  You should know the answer to this by now:  HE PRAYED.  In fact, he prayed a pretty salty prayer against the enemy, and then they continued working.  They connected the wall and built it to half it’s height.  That really ticked off the opposition, and they conspired to attack Jerusalem.  By the way, in my experience, this is how spiritual warfare works.  The devil tries to demoralize, and when that doesn’t work, he brings out the big guns.  That’s why we must abide in Christ, where the Holy Spirit will arm us with the “full armor of God” so we can stand against the devil’s schemes.  As leaders, we must be in prayer against the enemy.

Again, they prayed, and this time set up a guard.  The enemy stepped it up a notch and planned a sneak attack to kill them and stop the work.  However, some Jews living nearby went and told Nehemiah, and thus God frustrated their plan.  Nehemiah developed a plan of defense, and it no doubt, it was a plan centered around prayer and around God going ahead of them.  However, there were also weapons involved: swords, spears, and bows. Can’t you just sense the testosterone levels hitting the roof!?

Then, Nehemiah saw the fear of his people, and gave them a rally cry:  “Do not be afraid of them; remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your houses.”  If that doesn’t bring out the warrior heart, then you are a GIRLY MAN!  Just the thought of it makes my heart race.  Men are created to be protectors, and Nehemiah knows this.  As Emerson Eggrichs says, “It is no small thing that a man is willing to die to protect his family.”  Men have been so demoralized in our society, and many have been rendered ineffective.  All we see on tv is the bumbling idiots.  We need to see more men like Nehemiah and William Wallace, men who were willing to fight for a noble cause.  We need men who will build the walls of protection around their families, and, at all cost, fight for them.  We need men who will see the breaches in the walls of other families around them, and help stand in the gap.  We need godly men of prayer and of honor to step up and defend families against the enemy who is besieging the walls as we speak.

Okay, back to the story…  So, even under the threat of attack, they kept working.  However, this time, they were working with their weapons close at hand.  The builders wore their swords girded at their sides as they built.  Nehemiah had a plan where a trumpeter would sound the alarm if there was an attack so all could rally to where the trumpet sounded.  The trumpeter would be right with Nehemiah, which meant Nehemiah was going to be right in the thick of the action.  However, he also said, “Our God will fight for us.”  He knew who the battle belonged to.

I love the last verse:  “So neither I, my brothers, my servants, nor the men of the guard who followed me, none of us removed our clothes, each took his weapon even to the water.”  Nehemiah was not asking  his men to do more than he was willing to do himself.  As their leader, he wasn’t barking orders from afar; he was right there with them ready to die if necessary.  I don’t know about you, but I want to be this kind of spiritual leader.

May God go ahead of you and fight the battles for you as you abide in Him!

Thirty-seven

Something hit me on May 2 when I turned 37.  It’s not usually a number that one would focus on.  It’s not one of the so-called “milestone” years.  However, something deep inside me says that 37  is going to be a significant year.  God has already been teaching me a great deal.  He has reminded me in gentle but firm ways that I need to be pursuing intimacy with Him first and foremost.  I have missed very few early morning hours with God over the past several years.  However, my journaling while spending time with God has dwindled to a few times a week.  Without my journal right there with me, my mind tends to wander, I tend to forget things that I really need to be praying about, and I don’t listen nearly as well.  In addition, I don’t have a way of going back to review what God has been teaching me.  When I use the journaling method that Dean Trune taught me, I am able to stay focused and my time with God is much richer and more meaningful.  Now, please don’t get me wrong.  I know I can pursue God and spend time with him any time of the day, no matter where I am, and whether I journal or not.  However, in order for me to really be focused and listening, I need to spend early morning, uninterrupted time with Him, and have my journal right there with me.  So far, I have journaled all 20 days of my 37th year, and I’m excited about what God is doing in my heart.

It is also helping that I’m going to bed earlier, so I can get up closer to 5:00 and have some time of exercise, too.  I feel so much more energetic when I have my time with God and some good exercise.  This morning, after my quiet time, I spent 15 minutes on the treadmill while watching a John Maxwell leadership video.  I have to do something while treadmilling or I can’t hardly stand it.   Today is the last day of school, so I can get part of my exercise by riding my bike to the office at least a few times a week.  So far, with the exception of the day I found water coming into our basement, I have stayed on course with my exercise plan since turning 37.  That’s huge for me.

Another thing that will make this a significant year is the fact that God is really teaching me some leadership skills right now.  Much of it is coming straight from the book of Nehemiah.  I’m planning to focus on a chapter of Nehemiah each day for the next thirteen days.  I’ll try to share what God is teaching me.  Today, I’ll talk about Chapter 1.

I am so impressed with what an incredible leader Nehemiah was!  I don’t know why I haven’t focused on him before.  He learns of a need that burdens his heart to the point of weeping.  Instead of going out on his own power to find a solution, he spends three or four months in prayer and fasting to God.  Take note:  prayer was his first action, not his last resort.  Oh, what power we would see as leaders if we would learn this.  His recorded prayer is so meaningful and powerful, complete with worship, confession (his sins and those of Israel), and petition, and it came straight from his heart.  One of my favorite parts is where he says “O Lord, let your ears be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name.”  What would it look like for us to come together in prayer because we delight in revering God’s name?  Wow!

Another thing that has been brought to my attention is the fact that Nehemiah was very close to the king.  In fact, according to Dr. Howard Hendricks, a Bible professor specializing in Christian leadership at Dallas Theological Seminary, the cupbearer was second-in-command, kind of like the Prime Minister.  He was the only one who had direct access to the king and his own expense account.  In other words, he was living the good life in the palace.  In the world’s eyes, it would have been so easy to ignore the need in Jerusalem in order to continue living in comfort, but servant-leaders don’t do that.  Servant leaders seek God and put the needs of others before their own.

When I read and study the Bible, I always ask the question:  What is God teaching me through this?  How can this be applied in my life?  Well, I, too, have had a burden placed on my heart by God.  It’s not a physical wall that is broken down, but can be compared to that.  It’s the state of marriage and family.  I think the state of many marriages and families are much like the state of Jerusalem:  “in great trouble and disgrace because the walls are broken down and the gates have been burned with fire.”  Success rises and falls on the leadership, and that includes leadership in the family.  I believe that we, as men, are supposed to be spiritual leaders in the home.  We are supposed to be the gatekeepers, providing protection and security by staying close to God.  This includes praying for our families and fighting the spiritual battles through prayer and God’s Word.  I’m not saying that women can’t do this because they can and are usually very capable, but it should be done in addition to what their husbands are doing.  Too often, women find themselves as the spiritual leader because their husbands don’t step up.  I really believe it’s because they aren’t equipped.  Often, without the spiritual leadership of the husband, marriages fall apart, and families find themselves in a place of insecurity because the protective walls are broken down. 

As most of you know, I have a heart for ministry to single parent families.   I have a real burden for helping rebuild the walls, and standing in the gap that has been left most often by the father.  At the same time, I have a heart for counseling families and helping men become better leaders in their homes.  In these ways, maybe we can repair the walls before they disintegrate.  I want to continue to develop my skills in these areas.  My animal science degrees did not prepare me for this, although my mentor in college taught me skills that went far beyond the degree.  Through Nehemiah’s example, I plan to take time this summer in prayer and fasting for God to give me a vision for how best to do this.  I’m afraid I have tried for too long to do this in my own power and without the proper leadership skills being developed.  I’m finally on track. 

This will also be a good preparation for my first overseas mission trip to Thailand to minister to Karen refugees, including a village of mostly single moms and widows.  Yep, 37 is going to be a significant year in the Lord!

For you single moms who read my blog, remember:  Even though the walls may be knocked down, and  you may feel discouraged at times, take courage in Psalm 68:5 – “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.”  The King of Kings and the Lord of Lords is your protector and shield.

May God bless you as you spend time seeking Him and His vision for you!

Stay the Course

I had a very interesting experience as a substitute teacher last Friday.  I took the assignment of going to the juvenile detention facility.  Contrary to what you might think, it was one of the easiest days I’ve had yet as a substitute.  I was there along with two other teachers, and we had twelve students.  In addition, there were three guards with us to make sure nothing happened.  With it being a Friday, the students wanted to be on their best behavior so they would have weekend privileges.  In many ways, it was much easier than being in the regular classroom.

I couldn’t help but wander about their stories.  Why were they there?  What was their home-life like?  Do they have dads in their lives who care?  How can I help?  My heart was breaking for them. 

One of the guys told me that between 5 and 10% of the youth who came there listed the father as “unknown.”  He also told me that well over half of them came from single parent families.  I’m guessing that 90% or more of them don’t have a good relationship with their dads, no matter if they are from a single parent or two parent home.  I felt like I was witnessing another consequence of fatherlessness in a very up-close way.  I really believe that most of them would turn things around if they had a good mentor, a father figure… at least someone in their life who cared.

Now, let’s spin the globe to the other side.  This morning, four of us met to talk about the trip to Thailand in October.  I learned more information about the village of Tee Po Kwah.  This is the village I spoke of awhile back that consists mostly of single parent families and widows.  I had assumed that the men were dying at the hands of the Burmese army, couldn’t get out of Burma to be with their families, or were trying to find work somewhere.  Unfortunately, much to my dismay, I learned that a great many of them had abandoned their families to find new wives and had succumbed to many of the same temptations that the men of America have.  It is a grim reminder that fatherlessness is a universal problem.  

I feel like God has placed me here for such a time as this.  I want to be used by God to stand in the gap and help hurting families, and to be on the frontlines of the battle against fatherlessness.  I often marvel at how He has brought me from a career as a meat scientist to being a minister and has giving me my heart’s desire of showing Christ’s love to people.  I have the greatest job on earth, as far as I’m concerned.  I get to carry out my life mission of ministering to single parent families locally, and it looks like I will get the chance to do this in Thailand in October, as well.  At the same time, I have opportunities to help strengthen marriages and minister to men, so maybe there will be fewer single parent families.  Not to mention, I have been given the privilege of leading and helping lead other ministries, such as the Small Group, Outreach and Shepherding ministries.  I pretty much get to minister to people of all ages at one time or another in the church and in the community.

If that wasn’t great enough, God has allowed me a unique way to minister to my own children, as well.  I get to teach chapel two days a week at the school where my daughters attend.  I can walk downstairs three days a week and have lunch with them, and I even get to substitute teach in their classes from time to time.  I know each of their teachers and see them daily when school is in session.  While we often have a busy schedule, I’m still home more than I was when I worked in the meat industry, and I’m at least home most evenings to help put them to bed.  This is so important to me because if I don’t father my own children and take care of my family well, everything else will be for nothing.   

Now, I say all this only to add this:  I’m thrilled where God has me, but I don’t want to just settle here.  I want to continue to grow.  I want to get more education in counseling so I can minister to people more effectively.  I need more ammunition for the battle, and I’m seeking God’s wisdom and guidance in how to do this.

Yesterday morning, in my time with God, this phrase came to my mind, “Moving from rhetoric to reality requires resolve.”  I don’t think I’ve ever heard this phrase before, but it sounds too complex to actually have come from me, so I’ll just give credit to God.  We need to get past fancy and glittery words and move toward actions.  It’s easy to say we will do something, but it takes resolve to make it happen.  We must be purposeful and intentional, and remember it won’t happen overnight.  Of course, it won’t happen at all, if we don’t come up with a game-plan and stick with it.  Just like with my Ten Key Moves.  If I write them down and don’t act on them, they will go down as more useless rhetoric.  Rhetoric doesn’t change lives and make a difference, action does.  With so much to do, I often get distracted from staying the course.  It seems like good things keep popping up that I allow to keep me from the best things.  That’s why it’s so important to put God first and listen to Him constantly.  When the children of Israel listened to God and obeyed, amazing things happened.  When they didn’t, disaster occurred.  I don’t know about you, but I want God’s best, not what I think is the best.  Let’s stay the course…

May God give us all the resolve to stick with the gameplan He has given us!

Road Trip

My two middle daughters and I hit the road last Thursday night for a quick road trip to Texas.  It is a 6 1/2 hour trip, and they traveled really well.  The question that always kills me, though, is “what town is this?”  That’s all fine and good except that we’re out in the dead middle of nowhere.  So, I say, “Do you see any buildings or lights?”  “No.”  “Okay, we’re not in a town, we’re in the country.”  “Oh, what country are we in?…”  All I could do was laugh and say, “We’re still in the good ol’ USA,” and then went on to explain the difference between the country and the city.  How can I call myself a redneck when my kids don’t know the basics, such as the difference between the country and the city?  Not to mention, they don’t much care for biscuits and gravy…

We got to spend some great time with my mom and were able to see my grandpa, too.  Grandpa is in the VA rehab center trying to regain his strength.  It is so tough seeing my hero so weak and devastated by Alzheimers.  I fed him part of his lunch, which was humbling.  The gentleman on the other side of me said, “How do they expect us to chew this meat if we can’t even cut it.”  I offered to cut it for him.  He refused at first, but after struggling for a time, took me up on my offer.  I found out real quick that there was a reason he couldn’t cut it… they might consider having bandsaws available the next time they offer those steaks…  After lunch, my girls and my nephew were visiting with and giving hugs to some of the other veterans out in the hallway.   There is just something about little children that warms the hearts of those around them.  In some very small way, I felt like we were serving our veterans that day, and it felt good.

While we were gone, I was also able to see my wife’s parents and grandmother for a short time, and we had a good visit.  While with them, I got to have a little time with a family member whose husband performed our wedding almost 15 1/2 years before to the day.  He passed away in December.  I was able to sit and visit with her just the two of us, which was special.  Hopefully I was able to encourage her.  I know I was encouraged just talking to her.  She gave me the opportunity to go through his books and take whatever I could use.  She also gave me one of his Bibles.  That was a real blessing.

I had a great talk with my sister and with my neice while on our trip, too.  I haven’t taken the opportunity to do this for a long time.  I pray that I was of encouragement to them, as well.  God has really given me a desire to teach, counsel, and disciple.  Most of the time, I feel so inadequate.  I think that’s a good thing, because it makes me realize how completely dependent upon God that I am.  I must daily seek Him and ask for wisdom. 

I don’t think I could have asked for a better trip.  The weather was beautiful and the conversations were rich and meaningful.  I feel like we really made the best of the time we had with family.

On another note and speaking of “road trips,” I now feel comfortable sharing something with my readers.  Since Mom is one of my readers, I wasn’t about to mention this until I had told her in person…  I believe God is calling me to go on a short term mission trip to Thailand.  I’ve been encouraged to go before, but haven’t sensed a calling until now. 

A dear brother in Christ travels there at least twice a year.  When he came back from his last trip, he reported on a village of 25-27 families that are mostly widows and single mothers.  In fact, he said that he only saw three men in the whole village.  They are refugees from Burma (Myanmar), and are living in extreme poverty.  When I heard about this village, I immediately felt the need to do something.  Now it looks like, Lord willing, I will get to go there with some others to minister to them for about three weeks beginning mid-October.  I am really excited about this opportunity. 

I would like to begin assembling a prayer team, because I think that is the most important thing we can do.  I will try to keep regular updates here on my blog as to how things are coming along and what the prayer needs are.  Please let me know if you would like to partner with us in prayer.  I’m so excited about what God is going to do!!

May God richly bless you with good family time today!

Quality Time

I feel like I scored a major victory this weekend with my second oldest.  While trying to find some time to spend time with a little girl who lost her daddy to cancer a few years ago, I thought it would be best to include one of my daughters who is close to the same age.  I knew with the personality of this particular daughter that it wouldn’t be a problem if we took a friend along for our “Daddy / Daughter” time.  However, I was floored by the results.

I was a little late picking them up from basketball camp and they were already speculating about what we were going to do.  They were sure we were going bowling, and they were excited about that!  I never dreamed these two would have an interest in bowling, but they did.  Therefore, I deviated from my original plans and we went bowling.  It was fun, but I wanted to do something a little more interactive.  We had some time left after that, so we went to the museum.  At our county museum they have a room where kids can roll play and the adults can interact.  They have a little school room, a house with a kitchen, a general store, a teepee, and a boat among other things.  We had so much fun.  I discovered that our little friend has quite a servant heart.  She wanted to do all the “cooking” and kept serving us instead of sitting down to “eat” with us.  Of course, she has too much energy to sit and be served.  It’s amazing what we can learn about children when we take the time to do things like this.

Both girls thanked me numerous times for doing this.  However, after I dropped our friend off, my daughter kept hugging and thanking me throughout the day.  She kept looking for opportunities to do things for me, and would then hug me and say, “I can’t thank you enough daddy for taking us bowling and to the museum today.”  She called it Daddy, Daughter, Friend time, and couldn’t have been more pleased.  I’m still reaping the benefits today – I ate lunch with her and she hugged me and thanked me again.

I’m afraid I’ve been missing the mark with her up to this point, but I finally got it right by speaking her love language:  QUALITY TIME.  It has been easy for me to connect with my oldest daughter because we’re a lot alike.  It’s easy for me to connect with my son because it just comes naturally.  However, I really have to make the effort to connect to my two middle daughters, especially the one I’m writing about.  She has a totally different personality and it is easy for me to miss the mark with her.

Let me encourage you today in what I’ve learned.  It’s important to learn our childrens’ love languages.  What speaks to one child doesn’t speak to another.  They are all different and we need to be students of them in order for them to feel loved.

May God bless your efforts in learning how to speak your childrens’ love languages!

Fathers Matter

If you have followed my blog much at all or have read some of the archives, you know I am passionate about ministry to single parent families.  This article from All Pro Dads sparked me and I want to share it with you.

This post is really not for single moms.  It is for those who have an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of fatherless children.  However, I know that some single moms will read this, so I want to give this disclaimer:  If you are a single mom about to read this,  PLEASE don’t automatically think that your son or daughter is going to fit into one of these statistics just because they live in a single parent family.  God is the father to the fatherless and the defender of widows.  Put your children in God’s hands.  He will bring mentors around them to fill the gaps where you can’t.  Pray fervently, and watch God work in the lives of your children.

Dads, let’s make a difference in the lives of our children.  Be engaged.  Help them grow in their walk with God.  Don’t leave them hanging.  Be intentional.  Teach your sons what it means to be a man.  Let them know they have what it takes – don’t leave that question unanswered.  Let your daughters know they are lovely, beautiful, and captivating.  Let them know they are a real princess, because their real Daddy is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords (part of a Dean Trune quote).  Teach them what to look for in a man.  Tell all your children that you love them and are proud of them and tell them some things they are good at for starters.  I could write so much more, but I need to end here for today. 

If you cannot tell, I have a renewed sense of urgency today.  Read this and learn why.

http://www.allprodad.com/playbook/viewarticle.php?art=53

May God give you wisdom in living our true and undefiled religion…